![World Sports Entertainment : To iNSANITY... & Beyond! [get the wrestling OUT!]](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y127/shanomacbry/7312847a-6aad-4bcc-b1f7-ca83b78c33fc_zpsyhuncysr.png "World Sports Entertainment : To iNSANITY... & Beyond! [get the wrestling OUT!]")
Post by THE Mac Bry v2 on May 19, 2010 4:58:48 GMT -6
[Vince Russo is standing beside a lamp post... coat gripped in his hand, hanging over his shoulder... derby atop his head.]
Vince Russo: I was standing there... looking out into the abyss...
... darkness as far as my eyes could wander.
I knew that on this night... only ONE THING stood in my way...
*removes himself from the post, slams the coat to the ground, and tosses the hat at the camera.]
... that FUCK-AH Hulk Hogan! HOGAN! You can KEEP that title, and call it the Hulk-stah memorial title for all I care, cuz -
...
Vince Russo: I just saved a buncha money by switchin' tah Geico!
...
Oh.. and I BOUGHT WSE FROM THE MAC BRY!!!
- - - Breaking News : Vince Russo comes to terms with THE Mac Bry on buy-out of World Sports Entertainment!!!~! - - -
...
*static*
[We open to the UnderBaker's bakery, where he's smashing everything in sight.]
Baker: DAMMIT! ARGGHH! I can't believe he bought the company, and now HE'S gonna fight THE Mac Bry for THE Belt! That BASTARD!!! He will... rest... in...
[Suddenly, Baker's stove blows up from over-cooking a pot pie, killing Baker in the blaze... poor pot pie.
]
...
*static*
Mr. E: Unless you're a retarded, stupid, moronic, dumb, doofish, idiotic MOOK... you SHOULD know that my uncle was the late, great, Taco Guerrero... long lost cousin of Eddie Guerrero! And so, I have decided to remove my mask and go by my true identity!
[Mr. E removes the underwear with eyeholes cut out... to reveal a plastic bag with eyeholes cut out!]
Mr. E: I yam... ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TACOOO!!! J'es, El Taco, which means "The Taco" in Mexxy-can! ... IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... what El Taco... is cookin'! ... Which is tacos! ... VIVA LA PASTA!
...
*static*
Jack Bull: Well shoot, my good ol' daddy was good ol' Craig Benoit, long lost cousin ah not-so-good ol' Chris Benoit! So I'm gonna go an' change muh name LEGALLY to...
... Jack Benoit!!!
Jack: El Taco... see yer ass at WrassleNymphoMania! GIT 'R DIIID!!!
...
*static*
[Val Halla died on the way back to his home planet.]
Poochie: Scooooby Dooby DOOOO!
[... Yip. So... guess Zeus is gonna be a no show. ...]
Ron Simmons: DAMN! ... Where's my pay check?
...
*static*
[Kruzifix had this to say :
Kruz: I journey through total abomination.
I stare into the soul of a newborn maggot.
I am reborn... I am re-died.
My hair is dyed red cuz I got natural blonde hair.
Pickle juice rains down... listen to Curly go "NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!"
[... The Emoetry Corner has been CANCELLED!]
[We wish Kruzifix the worst of luck in his future endeavors. Cuz... you know, Kruz is EVIL~!!! ... and "worst" is good to guys that are EVIL~!!! ... riiight...]
...
*static*
[It has been announced that Nickey Mowse will team with Gruel Renshaw to face Major Mario and Mario's brother, the man Gruel ko'ed last year at WrestleNymphoMania 69, Brother Luigi! It'll be a Mushroom Kingdom STREETFIGHT! Hold on to yer koopa shells, kiddies, it's gonna be a bumpy rainbow ride!]
...
*static*
[We open, this time to WSE Arena, where THE Mac Bry is standing with a microphone, along with the rest of the mWo : his girlfriend, Krystal Dawn, Redd W. Bloo, and Maxwell Gates (formerly Viruz).]
Mac: Ladies and gents, please welcome the NEWEST member of the m... W... o...
... GOO THE ADVENTURER!!!
[Goo comes out, and gets in the ring. Mac continues.]
Mac: Tonight, we WILL have WrestleNymphoMania 2012! We will have all no dq, no count out, anywhere falls matches, as that's what kind of match EVERY match in the NEW and IMPROVED WSE will be like! And it all starts right... NOW!
----------------------------------------
Live [on tape] from the Hell Hole, in Nowhere, Oklahoma!!!~!
WrestleNymphoMania 2012 : Where it All Ends... Again.
Wednesday, March 17th... 2010...
- - - - - - - - -
[Pyro, and music and all that shit, and here's Wes Rivers, Rex Winters, and Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker at the commentary desk!]
Wes: Hello sports fans!
Rex: I got a porno mag!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: And here's Rat Bore with the first intro, bitches!
Rat Bore: Here they is being, Gruel Renshin und Nickey Von Mouse-in-heimer, the Jobber Express! Already in ring for you enjoyment! And come to ring now, Team 2DDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! . ?
["The First Level Theme from Super Mario Bros" hits, and out comes Major Mario and Brother Luigi, the reunited Team 2D!]
Wes: Mario gets in the ring... Luigi gets in the ring...
...
Wes: OH MY GYAAAD!
BBQ: BAH GAWD BAH GAWD BAH GAWD!!!
Rex: Yay! Mario's own brother, Luigi, just smacked Mario in the back of the skull with the goomba!
Wes: And Mario's DOWN!
Rex: Luigi rips his shirt off... and it's a shirt with the logo for the Disney Corporation!
Wes: Luigi has joined the Dark Side, and now Nickey AND Gruel are pinning the fallen Major! 1, 2, 3, and THEYGOTHIM!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
["It's a Small World Land" by Goof Troop plays as Nickey, the newly un-suspended HollyRock, Walt Disney's somehow-relative Vinny Disney who's the manager, and Brother Luigi all celebrate the victory for the Disney Corporation! WATCH ZACK AND CODY, BITCHES!!! Dylan and Cole Sprouse, FTW!]
Taz: Fuck the World?
[... And with that, we send it to the back, where newly promoted Tad "The Tool" Griswold is in the back being the backstage interviewer that he is interviewiewing somebody... in the BACK!]
Wes: Let's send it to the back!
Mike Stand: Hi-
Tad: I DON'T FUCKIN' THINK SO! Hi there fans, it's T-Grizzy here, and tonight's the BIGGEST DAMN NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! Because I'm right here, with El Taco, formerly Mr. E!
El Taco: VIVA LA PASTA! Orale, homie the clown!
Tad: Would you like to say anything of value?
El Taco: "Value"? ... Have you even been watching this crap for the past year and a half?
Tad: Well -
El Taco: IT DOESN'T MATTER! All that MATTERS... is that FI-NAL-LY... El Taco... is BACK... in... BIDNESS, BITCHES! El Taco sayeth, he gonna layeth the smacketh, downeth, on-eth, Jack-eth Benoit-eth's candy-eth ass-eth... I el gonna check-oh uno body-oh of ala Jacky Benoit to el Smackdown-eth Drive, and open up a can of pie!!! ... Tad... do you like... burrito flavored strudel?
Tad: EWWW, HELL NO!
[Suddenly, Jack Bull, ERRR, Benoit hits Eddie, I mean Rocky, I MEAN... El Taco, in the back with a loaded bible! And then he drops a weight lifting machine on him! And then he smothers him with a pillow!]
Wes: I can't believe it! Jack Benoit has murdered El Taco! YOU BASTARD!!!
[Rats crawl out of Tad's cheap suit and engulf Taco, devouring him whole. They then dip a few leftover pieces of Taco in some salsa, and devour THAT as well! Those FIENDS!]
Stan: They're totally rippin' off our Kenny bit!
Kyle: Don't worry, they always do that shit. They stole from ALL the greats! If you have material stolen by WSE, then buddy, you've MADE IT!
Cartman: I dunno 'bout that, Ben Hulk Hands had his name stolen by those hippies... and he sucks donkey balls. Anyway, SCREW YOU GUYS... I'm goin' hooome! ... RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAHHH!
Wes: Welp sports fans, I suppose the Guerrero / Benoit parody match is kaput... here's an -
- ad -
Wes: And we're back!
Rex: Sheesh, advertising during our "biggest" show ever... You can already tell we're wrapping things up for goo-
Wes: REX!!! HUSH! And watch THIS!
*insert john semen vs drunk ass austin stevens for the xtrmkor title*
Wes: What a surprise ending to a SURPRISE bout! Going into tonight, we had no idea that match would occur, but I cannot BELIEVE how it ended!
Rex: ... You know, you're right Wes, that was truly awesome.
Wes: ... But, uh, there wasn't a mat-
Rex: Yup, that match was GREAT! STUPENDOUS! MAGNIFICENT!
Wes: ... Really?
Rex: Of course not, fucktard, there wasn't one! And it just goes to show how happy I'm going to be in about an hour's time...
[We head back to the back, where THE Mac is lying naked on his stomach on the bench, getting a massage from Krystal. A massage to his ass. Cuz we all need THAT image in our heads...]
Mac: Ahhh, good work Krys! And speaking of good work, I think this crappy, shoddily produced, hastily thrown together, quasi-full results format of our supposedly "biggest" show EVAR~! is going SWIMMINGLY!
Krys: Ok.
Mac: And -
Vince Russo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!~!!!!~!!~! 1 a 2
[Russo screams through the door, and smashes a chair on Mac's nekkid back! Mac yelps in pain, and falls onto the floor!]
Wes: Remember folks, as Mac himself stated, ALL matches in WSE from now on are no dq... no count out... and ANYWHERE FALLS! And apparently, Vinny-Ru is taking that rule and using it to his advantage!!!
Russo: A WINNER IS ME, BEE-YOTCH!!!
[Russo pins Mac, picks up the fall, and grabs the belt, running off with it into the night!]
Mac: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Krys: Uhm... you want me to massage your dick? ... Happy ending?
Mac: ... Ok.
[We head to the ring for our main event, and Howard Fecal's introduction...]
Fecal: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadiesandgentlementhisisthemaineventireallydontcareneitherdoyousoheresratboretofinishupthisbullshit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!
Bore: EVERYBODY HAVE WACKY HAPPY FUN TIME! ... Where's my paycheck?
["Back in Black" hits, and THE Mac walks out, flanked by his girlfriend Krys, as well as Redd W., Max, and Goo. They're all wearing the customary hot pink and lime green mWo shit, and they get into the ring, and then "Return to Off-White" hits.]
Wes: Yes, "Return to Off-White", the only song ever made by legendary band CD/CA!!!
Rex: This year's even worse than LAST year's WNM... and I thought that was impossible! I QUIT!
[Rex walks off.]
Wes: ...
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: ... Uhm...
BBQ: The good ol' somethin' World order is comin' out, good ol' "The Shame" Triple S, "BarelyGood" Hack Hokum, "Big Dirty Ass" Kevin Slash, "The Bad Person Man" Bing O. Hall... and "The Iron Man", Vince F'n Russo!!!
[All five men walk to the ring and get in.]
Mac: Oh, and by the WAY? Since I AM the owner of this company...
Russo: I thought I bought it at the start of the show?
Mac: ... I'm making this match for YOUR THE Belt, Russo, and YOUR "Xtrmkor" title, Triple S!!!
SSS: BOW DOWN TO THE, BOW DOWN TO THE KINGS OF COMEDY!!! Cuz I is dat dern goob!!!
Mac: ... PEDIGREE TO THE SWO!!!
[And with that, Mac Bry hits the pedigree to all five members of the sWo... simultaneously. ... somehow. ... Aw fuck it, who cares...]
BBQ: THE Mac Bry goes for the pin... and bah GAWD, he gets it! As GAWD as muh witness, THE Mac is broken in half!
Wes: ... Uhhh, no he's not? He broke THEM in half, I suppose...
BBQ: How d'ya learn tah pin five people at the same time?!?!?!
Wes: By laying on top of them? ... And waiting three seconds?
BBQ: Lemme tell ya folks, the sWo is NOT made outta chocolate!
Wes: ... I quit too.
[Wes walks off.]
BBQ: Yahoo! I gots the table to muh self!
Jack Hoff: Hi hi Boom Boom!
BBQ: DAMMIT! I mean... hi former boss...
Jack Hoff: Whadya mean FORMER?! I bought WSE back at the start of the show!
BBQ: ... Thought that was Russo?
Jack Hoff: Oh, yeah! Well, the writer forgot about all that shit so fuck it.
BBQ: WrestleNymphoMania 2012, it's curse-word-tastic!
Mac: As owner of WSE, I declare THE Belt vacant, since I don't want to be the owner AND the champ... like SOME fat tubs ah lard with no brain that have come before me!
Jack Hoff: HEY! I resemble that remark!
Mac: I bestow the Xtrmkor title upon my lovely girlfriend, Krystal Dawn!
Krys: Thankies!
Mac: And THE Belt will be determined by a huge tournament beginning at Nitro 3, which will span the rest of the year leading up to a huge cage match finale at X-MasGeddon in December!
Jack Hoff: Not so FAST... FORMER owner!
Mac: *gasp of shock and horror* WHAT?!
Krys: WHAT?!
"Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens: WHAT?!
Jack: As I just told good ol' Boom Boom over here... I'M THE OWNER NOW! And I hereby declare that right here, right now, it'll be YOU... vs ME, for THE Belt!
Mac: You want me?! All I have to say to that is - JUST... BRING -
*gong*
BBQ: The HELL?! I thought the UnderBaker died in that there freak pot pie accident?!
[The iMACscreen flickers on, as the lights in the Nowhere, Oklahoma Hell Hole Arena flicker out...]
[...upon the screen, a man in a cloak and dark black mask, with only one hand protruding from the side of the cloak, walks down a dark alley... with black-and-white scenes from the past taking place on either side of him... Scenes from feds that the man known as Mac Bry has been a part of... MCW... XAW... AWA... SWC... BOB... Before long, scenes of three feds begin to play... the feds Mac Bry himself created ; WCWF... XCW... and now, WSE. As the masked figure walks, a deep, gravely voice begins to speak...]
From the depths of darkness... from the pits of despair...
Rises a beast from hell, with evil to spare...
He alone turns the page to the next chapter...
Light moves fast, yet he moves faster...
Where are our heroes... where have they gone...
We thought it was over. We were so, so wrong...
And as the time draws near, he unleashes his power...
The End is here... Soon... all shall be over...
[And when the rhyme is complete, the cloaked figure has come to the end of his path. He stares up at the brick wall, and raises his hand in front of him. Suddenly, the wall crumbles away, revealing what some would no sooner refer to as: Hell. This man walks into the firey reaches of this hellacious catacomb, with eyes blazing. Around him are steep ledges, overlooking a sea of flame. He makes his way to one of the steepest ledges, and stares downwards, toward the blood red heat. Somewhere from within this hellish cavern a wind current blows through, whipping this man's hair forward, covering his mask with his thick brown hair. He lifts his arm into the air... grabs onto his mask... and rips it off -]
[And then... the iMACscreen shuts off...
... and the lights in the arena return...
... and lying in the middle of the ring... blood poured across the canvas like an ocean of crimson...
... Gates? Dead. Goo? Dead. Redd? DEAD.
Corpses litter the squared circle... and standing tall... is a man with long brown hair... eyes as red as blood... a naked torso displaying demonic tattoos...
... a ripped and tattered pair of jean shorts... and bare feet. He grips within his hand a severed head...
... the severed head... of THE Mac Bry.]
End Game: The time has come... my friends and foes... to talk of many things.
Of carpenters and sealing wax... of cabbages and kings.
And while the sea... is boiling HOT...
... do you dare guess what this all means?
[End Game stares across the ring, holding Mac's head up before him... blood dripping from the neck... as he stares into the very soul of Krystal Dawn in the corner across from him.]
Krys: I... I...
[E.G. slowly walks toward the trembling body of Krystal... she shivers... she shakes in fear... her flesh, cold as ice from the terror creeping through her heart, into her veins, and down along her spine...]
E.G.: Krystal...
... kiss me.
Krys: ... I... I...
... I'd LOVE to!
[Krystal smacks the severed head of her ex-boyfriend away and out of the ring, and throws her arms around End Game's neck... as the two kiss PASSIONATELY...
... before Krystal looks into the camera, End Game smile devilishly.]
Krys: Oh dear Macky Wacky... sorry I had to do this but... well... I'm not really! You were always SUCH a dissapointment! But E.G. here... he's ALL I ever wanted in a man!
E.G.: Mac... sorry to burst your bubble, but... WAKE UP!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+ ~ Wednesday, March 17th... 2013 ~ +
Shane: HUH?!
[Shane Bryant, Sonic Drive-Thru carhop, suddenly awakens... lifting his face from the counter.]
Shane: ... The FVCK?! What kinda...
Mac Hoff: Dammit Shane, this is the third time this week you've fallen asleep at the counter! Next time and you're SUSPENDED... INDEFINITELY!!!
Shane: Sorry boss... I just had the STRANGEST dream. I... I dreamed that I was the owner of an E-FED!
Mac Hoff: Shane... don't you remember? E-feds were outlawed a year ago, in 2012, when it was discovered that they were what was causing the polar ice caps to melt, not to mention the wars in both Iraq AND Afghanistan, as well as sending the Earth into the sun... and who can forget that it was the end of e-feds that is why the Mayans ended their calendar, due to the fact that it would begin an entirely NEW way to measure time : Not measuring it at all!
Shane: Oh yeah!!! Huh... well, sheesh, can you believe this though... I actually dreamed that Michael Jackson bought World Sports Entertainment... my e-fed! And he DIED!
Mac Hoff: Haha, wow... now that's trippy. Everybody knows MJ's the president of the United States. The first black prez in the white house, tah-hee-hee!
Shane: Crazy... it's good to be an American, Mac. And it's good to not be in those DAMN e-feds anymore... friggin' ten years of my life down the tubes, lemme tell ya! But now? I've got a REAL life!
Mac Hoff: Yup. Taking out orders at a fast food resteraunt.
Shane: And then going home and playing my PlayBox 3-Wii! ... Which reminds me, can you believe I actually dreamed about a parody of the PlayBox 3-Wii called the X-Station Wii60?! I mean, that's not even a parody, it's just switching the words around!
Mac Hoff: Yup, now THAT'S crazy, heheh!
Shane: Yup... working in fast food and playing video games all day, every week, every month, of every year...
Mac Hoff: ... That's the life, ain't it?
Shane: You're damn right.
Mac Hoff: Well, I've got an idea. You can play with your Box even more... cuz you're FIRED!!!
Shane: ... Fvck.
|the end|
...
|ads|
[Shane arrives at his and his girlfriend Crystal Brown's trailer in Somewhere, Oklahoma.]
Crystal: Have a good day at work?
Shane: Well... actually... I was fired.
Crystal: Uh oh...
Shane: Whadya mean "uh oh"?
Crystal: Uhm... well... I have good news to go along with your bad news! Heh...heh... er...
Shane: I don't expect this "good news" to be all that good...
Crystal: I'm... pregnant. ... You're gonna be a daddy!
Shane: ...
|ads|
has been cancelled. But don't fret! Are you sad that Hannah Montana has ended production as well? Well have we got a show for YOU!
Stay tuned for "Miley Cyrus' Disney Celebrity Championship Wrestling", as the Jonas Brothers, Brenda Song, Ashley Tisdale, Emily Osment, Selena Gomez, Dylan and Cole Sprouse all bash eachother in the brain's with Disney approved chairs! Trust me, it'll be FUN! ... Family fun, but...
Aw fuck, who'm I kiddin', ya might as well go watch TNA... atleast they have BLOOD!
Disney : Making you smile... whether we have to use water boardin' or not! Raza frackin'...
|disney|
Vince Russo: I was standing there... looking out into the abyss...
... darkness as far as my eyes could wander.
I knew that on this night... only ONE THING stood in my way...
*removes himself from the post, slams the coat to the ground, and tosses the hat at the camera.]
... that FUCK-AH Hulk Hogan! HOGAN! You can KEEP that title, and call it the Hulk-stah memorial title for all I care, cuz -
...
Vince Russo: I just saved a buncha money by switchin' tah Geico!
...
Oh.. and I BOUGHT WSE FROM THE MAC BRY!!!
- - - Breaking News : Vince Russo comes to terms with THE Mac Bry on buy-out of World Sports Entertainment!!!~! - - -
...
*static*
[We open to the UnderBaker's bakery, where he's smashing everything in sight.]
Baker: DAMMIT! ARGGHH! I can't believe he bought the company, and now HE'S gonna fight THE Mac Bry for THE Belt! That BASTARD!!! He will... rest... in...
[Suddenly, Baker's stove blows up from over-cooking a pot pie, killing Baker in the blaze... poor pot pie.
]...
*static*
Mr. E: Unless you're a retarded, stupid, moronic, dumb, doofish, idiotic MOOK... you SHOULD know that my uncle was the late, great, Taco Guerrero... long lost cousin of Eddie Guerrero! And so, I have decided to remove my mask and go by my true identity!
[Mr. E removes the underwear with eyeholes cut out... to reveal a plastic bag with eyeholes cut out!]
Mr. E: I yam... ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TACOOO!!! J'es, El Taco, which means "The Taco" in Mexxy-can! ... IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... what El Taco... is cookin'! ... Which is tacos! ... VIVA LA PASTA!
...
*static*
Jack Bull: Well shoot, my good ol' daddy was good ol' Craig Benoit, long lost cousin ah not-so-good ol' Chris Benoit! So I'm gonna go an' change muh name LEGALLY to...
... Jack Benoit!!!
Jack: El Taco... see yer ass at WrassleNymphoMania! GIT 'R DIIID!!!
...
*static*
[Val Halla died on the way back to his home planet.]
Poochie: Scooooby Dooby DOOOO!
[... Yip. So... guess Zeus is gonna be a no show. ...]
Ron Simmons: DAMN! ... Where's my pay check?
...
*static*
[Kruzifix had this to say :
Kruz: I journey through total abomination.
I stare into the soul of a newborn maggot.
I am reborn... I am re-died.
My hair is dyed red cuz I got natural blonde hair.
Pickle juice rains down... listen to Curly go "NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!"
[... The Emoetry Corner has been CANCELLED!]
[We wish Kruzifix the worst of luck in his future endeavors. Cuz... you know, Kruz is EVIL~!!! ... and "worst" is good to guys that are EVIL~!!! ... riiight...]
...
*static*
[It has been announced that Nickey Mowse will team with Gruel Renshaw to face Major Mario and Mario's brother, the man Gruel ko'ed last year at WrestleNymphoMania 69, Brother Luigi! It'll be a Mushroom Kingdom STREETFIGHT! Hold on to yer koopa shells, kiddies, it's gonna be a bumpy rainbow ride!]
...
*static*
[We open, this time to WSE Arena, where THE Mac Bry is standing with a microphone, along with the rest of the mWo : his girlfriend, Krystal Dawn, Redd W. Bloo, and Maxwell Gates (formerly Viruz).]
Mac: Ladies and gents, please welcome the NEWEST member of the m... W... o...
... GOO THE ADVENTURER!!!
[Goo comes out, and gets in the ring. Mac continues.]
Mac: Tonight, we WILL have WrestleNymphoMania 2012! We will have all no dq, no count out, anywhere falls matches, as that's what kind of match EVERY match in the NEW and IMPROVED WSE will be like! And it all starts right... NOW!
----------------------------------------
Live [on tape] from the Hell Hole, in Nowhere, Oklahoma!!!~!
WrestleNymphoMania 2012 : Where it All Ends... Again.
Wednesday, March 17th... 2010...
- - - - - - - - -
[Pyro, and music and all that shit, and here's Wes Rivers, Rex Winters, and Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker at the commentary desk!]
Wes: Hello sports fans!
Rex: I got a porno mag!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: And here's Rat Bore with the first intro, bitches!
Rat Bore: Here they is being, Gruel Renshin und Nickey Von Mouse-in-heimer, the Jobber Express! Already in ring for you enjoyment! And come to ring now, Team 2DDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! . ?
["The First Level Theme from Super Mario Bros" hits, and out comes Major Mario and Brother Luigi, the reunited Team 2D!]
Wes: Mario gets in the ring... Luigi gets in the ring...
...
Wes: OH MY GYAAAD!
BBQ: BAH GAWD BAH GAWD BAH GAWD!!!
Rex: Yay! Mario's own brother, Luigi, just smacked Mario in the back of the skull with the goomba!
Wes: And Mario's DOWN!
Rex: Luigi rips his shirt off... and it's a shirt with the logo for the Disney Corporation!
Wes: Luigi has joined the Dark Side, and now Nickey AND Gruel are pinning the fallen Major! 1, 2, 3, and THEYGOTHIM!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
["It's a Small World Land" by Goof Troop plays as Nickey, the newly un-suspended HollyRock, Walt Disney's somehow-relative Vinny Disney who's the manager, and Brother Luigi all celebrate the victory for the Disney Corporation! WATCH ZACK AND CODY, BITCHES!!! Dylan and Cole Sprouse, FTW!]
Taz: Fuck the World?
[... And with that, we send it to the back, where newly promoted Tad "The Tool" Griswold is in the back being the backstage interviewer that he is interviewiewing somebody... in the BACK!]
Wes: Let's send it to the back!
Mike Stand: Hi-
Tad: I DON'T FUCKIN' THINK SO! Hi there fans, it's T-Grizzy here, and tonight's the BIGGEST DAMN NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! Because I'm right here, with El Taco, formerly Mr. E!
El Taco: VIVA LA PASTA! Orale, homie the clown!
Tad: Would you like to say anything of value?
El Taco: "Value"? ... Have you even been watching this crap for the past year and a half?
Tad: Well -
El Taco: IT DOESN'T MATTER! All that MATTERS... is that FI-NAL-LY... El Taco... is BACK... in... BIDNESS, BITCHES! El Taco sayeth, he gonna layeth the smacketh, downeth, on-eth, Jack-eth Benoit-eth's candy-eth ass-eth... I el gonna check-oh uno body-oh of ala Jacky Benoit to el Smackdown-eth Drive, and open up a can of pie!!! ... Tad... do you like... burrito flavored strudel?
Tad: EWWW, HELL NO!
[Suddenly, Jack Bull, ERRR, Benoit hits Eddie, I mean Rocky, I MEAN... El Taco, in the back with a loaded bible! And then he drops a weight lifting machine on him! And then he smothers him with a pillow!]
Wes: I can't believe it! Jack Benoit has murdered El Taco! YOU BASTARD!!!
[Rats crawl out of Tad's cheap suit and engulf Taco, devouring him whole. They then dip a few leftover pieces of Taco in some salsa, and devour THAT as well! Those FIENDS!]
Stan: They're totally rippin' off our Kenny bit!
Kyle: Don't worry, they always do that shit. They stole from ALL the greats! If you have material stolen by WSE, then buddy, you've MADE IT!
Cartman: I dunno 'bout that, Ben Hulk Hands had his name stolen by those hippies... and he sucks donkey balls. Anyway, SCREW YOU GUYS... I'm goin' hooome! ... RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAHHH!
Wes: Welp sports fans, I suppose the Guerrero / Benoit parody match is kaput... here's an -
- ad -
Wes: And we're back!
Rex: Sheesh, advertising during our "biggest" show ever... You can already tell we're wrapping things up for goo-
Wes: REX!!! HUSH! And watch THIS!
*insert john semen vs drunk ass austin stevens for the xtrmkor title*
Wes: What a surprise ending to a SURPRISE bout! Going into tonight, we had no idea that match would occur, but I cannot BELIEVE how it ended!
Rex: ... You know, you're right Wes, that was truly awesome.
Wes: ... But, uh, there wasn't a mat-
Rex: Yup, that match was GREAT! STUPENDOUS! MAGNIFICENT!
Wes: ... Really?
Rex: Of course not, fucktard, there wasn't one! And it just goes to show how happy I'm going to be in about an hour's time...
[We head back to the back, where THE Mac is lying naked on his stomach on the bench, getting a massage from Krystal. A massage to his ass. Cuz we all need THAT image in our heads...]
Mac: Ahhh, good work Krys! And speaking of good work, I think this crappy, shoddily produced, hastily thrown together, quasi-full results format of our supposedly "biggest" show EVAR~! is going SWIMMINGLY!
Krys: Ok.
Mac: And -
Vince Russo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!~!!!!~!!~! 1 a 2
[Russo screams through the door, and smashes a chair on Mac's nekkid back! Mac yelps in pain, and falls onto the floor!]
Wes: Remember folks, as Mac himself stated, ALL matches in WSE from now on are no dq... no count out... and ANYWHERE FALLS! And apparently, Vinny-Ru is taking that rule and using it to his advantage!!!
Russo: A WINNER IS ME, BEE-YOTCH!!!
[Russo pins Mac, picks up the fall, and grabs the belt, running off with it into the night!]
Mac: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Krys: Uhm... you want me to massage your dick? ... Happy ending?
Mac: ... Ok.
[We head to the ring for our main event, and Howard Fecal's introduction...]
Fecal: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadiesandgentlementhisisthemaineventireallydontcareneitherdoyousoheresratboretofinishupthisbullshit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!
Bore: EVERYBODY HAVE WACKY HAPPY FUN TIME! ... Where's my paycheck?
["Back in Black" hits, and THE Mac walks out, flanked by his girlfriend Krys, as well as Redd W., Max, and Goo. They're all wearing the customary hot pink and lime green mWo shit, and they get into the ring, and then "Return to Off-White" hits.]
Wes: Yes, "Return to Off-White", the only song ever made by legendary band CD/CA!!!
Rex: This year's even worse than LAST year's WNM... and I thought that was impossible! I QUIT!
[Rex walks off.]
Wes: ...
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: ... Uhm...
BBQ: The good ol' somethin' World order is comin' out, good ol' "The Shame" Triple S, "BarelyGood" Hack Hokum, "Big Dirty Ass" Kevin Slash, "The Bad Person Man" Bing O. Hall... and "The Iron Man", Vince F'n Russo!!!
[All five men walk to the ring and get in.]
Mac: Oh, and by the WAY? Since I AM the owner of this company...
Russo: I thought I bought it at the start of the show?
Mac: ... I'm making this match for YOUR THE Belt, Russo, and YOUR "Xtrmkor" title, Triple S!!!
SSS: BOW DOWN TO THE, BOW DOWN TO THE KINGS OF COMEDY!!! Cuz I is dat dern goob!!!
Mac: ... PEDIGREE TO THE SWO!!!
[And with that, Mac Bry hits the pedigree to all five members of the sWo... simultaneously. ... somehow. ... Aw fuck it, who cares...]
BBQ: THE Mac Bry goes for the pin... and bah GAWD, he gets it! As GAWD as muh witness, THE Mac is broken in half!
Wes: ... Uhhh, no he's not? He broke THEM in half, I suppose...
BBQ: How d'ya learn tah pin five people at the same time?!?!?!
Wes: By laying on top of them? ... And waiting three seconds?
BBQ: Lemme tell ya folks, the sWo is NOT made outta chocolate!
Wes: ... I quit too.
[Wes walks off.]
BBQ: Yahoo! I gots the table to muh self!
Jack Hoff: Hi hi Boom Boom!
BBQ: DAMMIT! I mean... hi former boss...
Jack Hoff: Whadya mean FORMER?! I bought WSE back at the start of the show!
BBQ: ... Thought that was Russo?
Jack Hoff: Oh, yeah! Well, the writer forgot about all that shit so fuck it.
BBQ: WrestleNymphoMania 2012, it's curse-word-tastic!
Mac: As owner of WSE, I declare THE Belt vacant, since I don't want to be the owner AND the champ... like SOME fat tubs ah lard with no brain that have come before me!
Jack Hoff: HEY! I resemble that remark!
Mac: I bestow the Xtrmkor title upon my lovely girlfriend, Krystal Dawn!
Krys: Thankies!
Mac: And THE Belt will be determined by a huge tournament beginning at Nitro 3, which will span the rest of the year leading up to a huge cage match finale at X-MasGeddon in December!
Jack Hoff: Not so FAST... FORMER owner!
Mac: *gasp of shock and horror* WHAT?!
Krys: WHAT?!
"Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens: WHAT?!
Jack: As I just told good ol' Boom Boom over here... I'M THE OWNER NOW! And I hereby declare that right here, right now, it'll be YOU... vs ME, for THE Belt!
Mac: You want me?! All I have to say to that is - JUST... BRING -
*gong*
BBQ: The HELL?! I thought the UnderBaker died in that there freak pot pie accident?!
[The iMACscreen flickers on, as the lights in the Nowhere, Oklahoma Hell Hole Arena flicker out...]
[...upon the screen, a man in a cloak and dark black mask, with only one hand protruding from the side of the cloak, walks down a dark alley... with black-and-white scenes from the past taking place on either side of him... Scenes from feds that the man known as Mac Bry has been a part of... MCW... XAW... AWA... SWC... BOB... Before long, scenes of three feds begin to play... the feds Mac Bry himself created ; WCWF... XCW... and now, WSE. As the masked figure walks, a deep, gravely voice begins to speak...]
From the depths of darkness... from the pits of despair...
Rises a beast from hell, with evil to spare...
He alone turns the page to the next chapter...
Light moves fast, yet he moves faster...
Where are our heroes... where have they gone...
We thought it was over. We were so, so wrong...
And as the time draws near, he unleashes his power...
The End is here... Soon... all shall be over...
[And when the rhyme is complete, the cloaked figure has come to the end of his path. He stares up at the brick wall, and raises his hand in front of him. Suddenly, the wall crumbles away, revealing what some would no sooner refer to as: Hell. This man walks into the firey reaches of this hellacious catacomb, with eyes blazing. Around him are steep ledges, overlooking a sea of flame. He makes his way to one of the steepest ledges, and stares downwards, toward the blood red heat. Somewhere from within this hellish cavern a wind current blows through, whipping this man's hair forward, covering his mask with his thick brown hair. He lifts his arm into the air... grabs onto his mask... and rips it off -]
[And then... the iMACscreen shuts off...
... and the lights in the arena return...
... and lying in the middle of the ring... blood poured across the canvas like an ocean of crimson...
... Gates? Dead. Goo? Dead. Redd? DEAD.
Corpses litter the squared circle... and standing tall... is a man with long brown hair... eyes as red as blood... a naked torso displaying demonic tattoos...
... a ripped and tattered pair of jean shorts... and bare feet. He grips within his hand a severed head...
... the severed head... of THE Mac Bry.]
End Game: The time has come... my friends and foes... to talk of many things.
Of carpenters and sealing wax... of cabbages and kings.
And while the sea... is boiling HOT...
... do you dare guess what this all means?
[End Game stares across the ring, holding Mac's head up before him... blood dripping from the neck... as he stares into the very soul of Krystal Dawn in the corner across from him.]
Krys: I... I...
[E.G. slowly walks toward the trembling body of Krystal... she shivers... she shakes in fear... her flesh, cold as ice from the terror creeping through her heart, into her veins, and down along her spine...]
E.G.: Krystal...
... kiss me.
Krys: ... I... I...
... I'd LOVE to!
[Krystal smacks the severed head of her ex-boyfriend away and out of the ring, and throws her arms around End Game's neck... as the two kiss PASSIONATELY...
... before Krystal looks into the camera, End Game smile devilishly.]
Krys: Oh dear Macky Wacky... sorry I had to do this but... well... I'm not really! You were always SUCH a dissapointment! But E.G. here... he's ALL I ever wanted in a man!
E.G.: Mac... sorry to burst your bubble, but... WAKE UP!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+ ~ Wednesday, March 17th... 2013 ~ +
Shane: HUH?!
[Shane Bryant, Sonic Drive-Thru carhop, suddenly awakens... lifting his face from the counter.]
Shane: ... The FVCK?! What kinda...
Mac Hoff: Dammit Shane, this is the third time this week you've fallen asleep at the counter! Next time and you're SUSPENDED... INDEFINITELY!!!
Shane: Sorry boss... I just had the STRANGEST dream. I... I dreamed that I was the owner of an E-FED!
Mac Hoff: Shane... don't you remember? E-feds were outlawed a year ago, in 2012, when it was discovered that they were what was causing the polar ice caps to melt, not to mention the wars in both Iraq AND Afghanistan, as well as sending the Earth into the sun... and who can forget that it was the end of e-feds that is why the Mayans ended their calendar, due to the fact that it would begin an entirely NEW way to measure time : Not measuring it at all!
Shane: Oh yeah!!! Huh... well, sheesh, can you believe this though... I actually dreamed that Michael Jackson bought World Sports Entertainment... my e-fed! And he DIED!
Mac Hoff: Haha, wow... now that's trippy. Everybody knows MJ's the president of the United States. The first black prez in the white house, tah-hee-hee!
Shane: Crazy... it's good to be an American, Mac. And it's good to not be in those DAMN e-feds anymore... friggin' ten years of my life down the tubes, lemme tell ya! But now? I've got a REAL life!
Mac Hoff: Yup. Taking out orders at a fast food resteraunt.
Shane: And then going home and playing my PlayBox 3-Wii! ... Which reminds me, can you believe I actually dreamed about a parody of the PlayBox 3-Wii called the X-Station Wii60?! I mean, that's not even a parody, it's just switching the words around!
Mac Hoff: Yup, now THAT'S crazy, heheh!
Shane: Yup... working in fast food and playing video games all day, every week, every month, of every year...
Mac Hoff: ... That's the life, ain't it?
Shane: You're damn right.
Mac Hoff: Well, I've got an idea. You can play with your Box even more... cuz you're FIRED!!!
Shane: ... Fvck.
|the end|
...
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[Shane arrives at his and his girlfriend Crystal Brown's trailer in Somewhere, Oklahoma.]
Crystal: Have a good day at work?
Shane: Well... actually... I was fired.
Crystal: Uh oh...
Shane: Whadya mean "uh oh"?
Crystal: Uhm... well... I have good news to go along with your bad news! Heh...heh... er...
Shane: I don't expect this "good news" to be all that good...
Crystal: I'm... pregnant. ... You're gonna be a daddy!
Shane: ...
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