![World Sports Entertainment : To iNSANITY... & Beyond! [get the wrestling OUT!]](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y127/shanomacbry/7312847a-6aad-4bcc-b1f7-ca83b78c33fc_zpsyhuncysr.png "World Sports Entertainment : To iNSANITY... & Beyond! [get the wrestling OUT!]")
Post by THE Mac Bry v2 on Jul 18, 2010 7:14:46 GMT -6
[The camera opens to downtown Nowhere, Oklahoma... the home town of World Sports Entertainment Chairman of the Bored... THE Mac Bry.]
Voice: So THIS is the place...
[We find a short bus pulled up to the side of Mpire Mall, Nowhere's Numero Uno shopping district... with eight men stood outside of the terribly large building...]
[Mad Hatter...]
["Rushing" Tom...]
[The Cock...]
[Hyped Fairy Daddy...]
[Johnny Jones...]
[The Nut Cracka...]
[Anarchy...]
[... and Bubbles "The Green Bastard".]
Voice: Boys... this place is going to be torn to the core... and I'M going to be the one to take THAT Belt!
[We see Bubbles shouting these words at the other four... before Tom stares at him.]
Tom: Oh? Well you'll have to GET TO IT first! And everyone knows I'm the fastest out of all eight of us! I'll be here first... and after I leave you in the dust? You'll know that I and I ALONE deserve THE Belt!
Cock: The Cock says... just FUCK it!
HFD: I say... nothing. Because I didn't rp.
Anarchy: THIS! IS! ANARCHY!
Johnny Jones & Nut Cracka : ...
[All seven men look over at Mad Hatter... who sips from a tea cup.]
Hatter: Mmmm... gentlemen? Tonight...
... we dine in WONDERLAND~!!!1
[The driver steps out of the short bus...]
THE Mac Bry: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready tah RICK ROLLLLLLLLL!!!
THE Mac Bry: ... Click it. You know you wanna.
= = = = = = = = = =
Live [on tape] and ONLY... on Paper-View!!!
Hosted at the Hell Hole Arena, in Nowhere, Oklahoma~!!!
= = = = = = = = = =
[We re-open, this time to the Hell Hole Arena, the home stadium of the wonderfully magnificent organization that is...
... World Sports Entertainment.]
[Inside, sitting at the announce table, are none other than WSE's ICONIC commentary team... or atleast, "iconic" in their minds and theirs alone... Wes Rivers and Rex Winters.]
Wes: Hello there sports fans, and welcome to the very FIRST Paper-View of WSE's new era... it's NEW HORIZON... here at the Mall!
Rex: I've stocked up on PentHouse porn magazines, and boy lemme tell ya, I...am...READY!
Wes: Ladies and gents, tonight, we will not only be crowning a brand NEW THE Champion... but "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens will also be defending his Applecore title against not one, not two, not three, but FOUR challengers!
Rex: And unfortunately that's up first... lousy, stinkin' job... I wish I was watching this on DV-R so I could press FAST FORWARD!
Wes: All five men are standing in the ring at this time, surrounded by the triple decker Kaos Kage... the first man to make it ALLLL the way to the top of the cage and grab the gold will claim the Applecore championship.
Rex: And after this crap fest, we'll head over to the Mall, where eight men will have to run around to first find the shopper holding the key... and then to find the store carrying the suitcase holding THE Belt! ... This is going to be a long, long night...
Wes: And with that, let's send it to the ring!
[All five men... Austin Stevens, John Semen, Nickey Mowse, THE Mac Bry, and the UnderBaker... are standing mid-ring.]
Wes: The ref signals for the bell, and this one's underway! Nickey Mowse immediately goes after the champ, "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens... but Stevens brings Mowse crashing down with the Drunk Ass Drop!!! Mowse rolls to the outside, and Austin turns his attention to THE Mac Bry.
Rex: What on EARTH is John Semen doing?!
Wes: It appears as though he's offering the UnderBaker a donut in exchange for the Bread Man to allow Semen to climb the ladder to the second cage... but the Chef of Death isn't having any of it! 'Baker grabs up the donut and crumbles it into tiny pieces... before decking Semen with a huuuge right hand!
Rex: And Semen is splayed out on the mat!
Wes: UnderBaker bounces off the ropes, leaps into the air, and brings down a massive legdrop across the throat of the Chain Gang of Love Soldier... and while he does so, Stevens is stomping a mudpie in THE Mac's gut and walking a dog!
Rex: Walking a dog???
Wes: Get it? Walking it dry... walking a... nevermind.
Rex: Regardless of Wes' retarded joke, the fact remains that THE Mac is having his ass handed to him by the Texas Garden Snake, Austin Stevens! But... Mowse is outside the ring, climbing the ladder to the second cage!!!
Wes: And he's made it! Mowse is hussling his way toward the third cage now... but The UnderBaker has hooked his foot! 'Baker is now in the second cage as well... and he lands a vicous powerbomb off of the ladder, sending Mowse hurtling to the first cage floor!!! And just to remind you all, the second cage is lined with WEAPONS!!!
Rex: But not guns... Or knives. Or... well, any real weapons actually. More like... furniture. Chairs, ladders, tables... you get the drift. But a cage lined with FURNITURE! ... just doesn't have the same spark, ya know?
Wes: Thank Bob for copy and paste... Anyfvck, UnderBaker has grabbed a steel chair... he lifts the steel above his head... but Nickey Mowse brings Baker down with a drop toe hold, crushing Baker's skull into the chair he himself is holding!
Rex: How dumb do you have to be to hit yourself in the head with a steel chair?
Wes:
Anyhell... Mowse grabs a table from off the steel mesh wall, and sets it up center of the cage... Mowse brings Baker back up to a vertical base... and...
Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker: AUSTIN STEVENS! AUSTIN STEVENS!! BAH GAWD, AUSTIN STEVENS!!!
Rex: Dammit, I thought we got rid of that guy when we moved to our new forum here at the Mall?
Wes: He's sticking with WSE like a bad habit...
Good ol' BBQ: Good ol' Drunk Ass has kicked the feet right outta from under that there Mowse, and bah GAWD, UnderBaker has fallen right ontoppa the Disney Corporation's head honcho! Bah Gawd on a Bisquik, this'n is turnin' outta be a Tuna Baker beyond measure! It's a Knobber Slocker, folks! How d'ya learn to fall ontop of another guy's face with your ass after ya been picked up tah be thrown through a table that surely coulda been BROKEN IN HALF~!!!??!?!!!~!1
Wes & Rex: ...
Rex: Security!!!
Good ol' BBQ: NO! NO! BAH GAWD, NO! Dammit, I'm a Hall of Shamer for cryin' out loud!!! Folks, lemme tell ya right now, that triple decker cage ain't made outta candy!
Rex: And I'm sure that dissapoints you greatly...
[Security drags Boom Boom away from the announce desk, as he kicks and screams...]
Good ol' BBQ: Folks, buy muh barbee-cue saush!!! It smells like shit an' tastes like spit! Good ol' Boom Boom's Spit n' Shit BBQ Saush... it's good shit! LITERALLY!!!~!
Wes: Well, anyhow. As Boom Boom mentioned in his idiotic fashion, Austin Stevens has made it to the second cage, and has began a double team on Mowse, assisted by UnderBaker! But here comes THE Mac Bry from the first cage! Mac grabs a broom, winds it up...
*CRACK!*
Wes: And THE Mac has just broken the broom stick clean in half over the back of the Undead Bread Man! ... But it didn't EVEN PHAZE him! Baker spins around, eyes glaring with rage... and Baker snatches Mac by the throat... Baker hoists Mac up... but Mowse clips the back of Baker's knee, and Baker drops the Chairman of WSE, with the Chef of Death dropping to one knee.
Rex: And now Stevens has a potted plant! Stevens lifts the vase overhead... before bringing it down HARD over the head of THE Mac! The vase is shattered, and Mac is lying near unconcious on the mesh floor... But Nickey Mowse uppercuts Stevens right between the uprights... and Austin drops to his knees... Baker still left on one.
Wes: Nickey grabs both Baker and Stevens heads... and brings them colliding together! Both men are now lying on the mesh floor, and Mowse is climbing the ladder to the third cage! ... But hold on a damn minute! John Semen is finally in the second cage, and he's got a... what in the hot pink hell IS that?
Rex: It's a flaming bag of dog crap!
Semen: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo... YO! ... POOPIE!!!
Wes: And Semen blasts Nickey in the face with that sack of crap, and the Mowse is out of it!
Rex: Whether it's from the impact or simply the stench... I have no clue.
Wes: Now SEMEN is climbing the ladder to the third cage, and he's MADE IT! But THE Mac is following him up... John Semen loads Mac up for the Fvck You as soon as the Boss Man makes it up... but -
Rex: YES!!! It's the m... W... ooo!!! Mac's girlfriend, and the QUEEN of WSE, Krystal Dawn... as well as Maxwell Gates and Redd W. Bloo. It's a four on one assault... and I'm lovin' it!
Wes: You would... But the UnderBaker, Austin Stevens, AND Nickey Mowse have all made it to the top cage, and it's an eight person melee! It reminds me of the eight man Mpire Mall Massacre main event we'll be seeing NEXT...
Rex: It would...
Wes: ... What's that supposed to mean?
Rex: It means LOOKIT THAT! The third cage is lined with food, and all eight combatants in the top cage are slinging the stuff around...
Wes: There goes a corn dog... there goes a muffin... there goes ANOTHER muffin... there goes yet another muffin!
Rex: The writer ran out of ideas for food items pretty quickly, didn't he...
Wes: You're darn tootin'! And Austin Stevens pops off the Drunk Ass Drop on both Redd W. Bloo as well as Maxwell Gates at the SAME EXACT TIME, and they both tumble to the side of the cage...
Rex: Krystal Dawn goes for a bitch slap to the Bionic Hick... but he grabs her wrist, and...
Wes: THE Mac clotheslines Stevens from behind! Austin releases his grip on Krys, and the Billion Dollar Hillbilly reels around, right into a SPEAR from THE Mac!!! THE Mac begins driving his knuckles into the skull of Stevens, but Baker yanks the Chairman off and goes for a big boot...
Rex: Mac ducks under, and The Chef of Death's sole meets with the mush of Semen, sending Johnny boy flying! Semen is down, Stevens is down, Baker and Mac are trading right fists... and Nickey Mowse is now trying to climb out of the third cage and to the top... he's made it once again, and he could very well claim the Applecore title for himself!!!
Wes: But in the third cage, Bloo and Max have taken hold of Baker's arms! Mac's girlfriend Krystal... she just SLAPPED the taste out of UnderBaker's mouth! Baker turns his head from the contact... he turns his eyes back forward, only to find himself face to face with THE Mac. T MB steps back a bit... before rushing in with a wicked superkick! Baker falls to the mesh floor, and -
Rex: Mowse has done it! Mowse has retrieved the strap! Mowse is the NEW Applecore champion!
Wes: While the mWo was busy taking out Baker, Nickey managed to sneak the gold into his custody, and is now making his way down into the third cage... wait... if he does THAT though, with all four members of the mWo still inside, the 24/7 rules of the Applecore title will mean...
Rex: Uh oh... the mWo is DISMANTLING Nick! Bloo and Max drop the Chosen Mouse Eared One with a double chokeslam, and Mac goes for the pin cover... with Krys sitting atop her boyfriend for extra coverage... and THE Mac has done it!!!
Wes: Thanks to the 24/7 rule, THE Mac Bry and the mWo have aquired the belt AFTER the Triple Decker Kaos Kage Match!
Rex: Well... I WAS happy that Nickey had taken the belt, due to him being the golden child for Disney, which pays half my check... but hey, THE Mac pays the other half... either way, YAY ME!!!
Wes: Well sports fans, as the mWo celebrates the title victory upon the Kaos Kage, we now send it over to the Mpire Mall in downtown Nowhere, where eight men will compete to crown the first WSE "THE Champ" of the Mall Era!!! Who will walk away with the gold? Let's find out... after THESE -
|ads|
[The camera opens, once again, to the Mpire Mall in downtown Nowhere, Oklahoma. This time, we find all eight men standing in the food court... with the referee explaining the rules.]
Ref: Men... the rules are simple. You will all battle throughout the mall, searching for a shopper... a MYSTERY shopper. Your goal is to pick their pocket, and once you find the customer holding a lime green and hot pink colored key, you will be in possesion of the gateway to your FUTURE... The first of you eight StupidStars to take the key to Goth Topik and retrieve the suitcase held there... will be able to open said case, and find yourself in possesion of THE Belt!!!
Rex: ... He lied when he said the rules were simple. Plain and simple, he LIED!
Wes: Anyhell sports fans, the eight men are already duking out rights and lefts to one another, and this main event of the evening is underway!
Rex: Wait a DAMN minute... it's Rough Shagwell!!! And he's just layed out all eight men with his WICKED stench!
Wes: That man hasn't bathed in WEEKS! The horror! THE HORROR!
Rex: Hyped Fairy Daddy is desperately trying to regain his senses... so is Bubbles and the rest...
Wes: But Rough just ripped a juicy fart! AND ALL EIGHT MEN ARE LEFT UNCONCIOUS!!!
Rex: THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! ... Seriously, this is THE most terrible match I've witnessed in WSE history... and believe me, that covers alot of crappy ground...
Wes: Rough... Rough is reaching into his pocket... AND HE HAS THE KEY!!! Rough Shagwell has the key to the suitcase carrying THE Belt! He's the mystery shopper!
Rex: And you KNOW he's going to use it for his own dastardly doings!!! Shagwell is heading for Goth Topik... and he's made it!
Wes: Rough is... Rough is... Rough has found the suitcase in the goth poser store! He's going to unlock the case...
*CLONK!*
Wes: But he's just been smashed in the back of the head with a goth make up case! Shagwell crumples to the floor... and standing tall above him is none other than the Mad Hatter, grinning from ear to ear!
Rex: He's ALWAYS grinning from ear to ear... the guy's MAD... MAD I TELLS YA!
Wes: And now Hatter is going to unlock the case...
... but is RUSHED from behind by Rushing Tom!!! Tom goes after Hatter, laying in stomp after stomp... he goes to unlock the case after Hatter is taken care of...
Rex... But he's superkicked in the back of the head!!!
Rex: Anarkick from Anarchy! Anarchy goes to unlock the case...
...
Wes: Spray paint in the face! Hyped Fairy Daddy just sprayed black paint in the face of Anarchy!!! This is MADNESS!!!
Rex: And speaking of madness, here's Johnny Jones... Nut Cracka... The Cock... and Bubbles!!! It's an eight man Mpire Mall madness melee!!!
Wes: Bodies are flying every which way... Jones is clocked from behind with a sack filled to the brim with crappy emo shirts... The Cock and Nut Cracka are fighting with their balls to the wall...
Rex: Wait... hold up... BUBBLES HAS THE CASE... AND HE JUST OPENED IT!!!
Wes: Bubbles the Green Bastard has done it! He's retrieved THE Belt, and he's officially THE Champion!
Rex: And now all seven other men are going after THE Champ! Bubbles is running like his life depends upon it! He's fled from Goth Topik... hell, he's fled The Mall! Bubbles is rushing out of there...
...
Wes: And speaking of rushing... Rushing Tom is waiting outside of the Mall! How on EARTH did he make it out that damn quick?!
Rex: Dammit Wes, his name is Rushing Tom! He's the fastest man on the roster, what do YOU think?!
Wes: Rushing Tom and Bubbles the Green Bastard are trading fists... and here comes the Mad One, Mad Hatter! All three men are battling tooth and nail, even though the match is already finished!
Rex: I've just received word that on the third episode of WSE Nitro, and the first episode of our Disney Channel franchise show since our arrival here at the Mall, we'll be witnessing a triple threat Tables, Ladders and Stairs match... It will be THE Champ, Bubbles, vs Tom and the Hatter, and this match will have theree stages!
Wes: Yes Rex, it's simple ; You must first make it from the backstage to the ring and climb up the ringsteps and through the ropes... where a table will be waiting. You must then drive your opponent through the table, and who does so is handed the title... but to become THE Champion, you must then climb the ladder [also in the ring] and hang the championship above the ring on the provided cable... to become THE Undisputed THE Champion of THE World!!!
Rex: Does anyone in this company know what the word "simple" means? Really? ... I mean REALLY?!
Wes: Nice Miz impression, Rex...
Rex: Thanks. I try.
Wes: Anyfuck, in addition to our main event 3-way between Bubbles the Green Bastard, Rushing Tom and the Mad Hatter... next time on Nitro, we'll also be seeing Anarchy take on Johnny Jones in a Body Slam Challenge to determine the number one contender to the Applecore title! The first man to slam the other will face the Applecore champ at WSE's first 'Disney Special'!
Rex: And in our semi-main event, the NEW Applecore champ, our BELOVED Chairman, THE Mac Bry, will put his title on the line against Hyped Fairy Daddy, The Cock, and Nut Cracka, in an elimination style, pinfalls only fatal 4-way!
Wes: Sports fans, tonight was a stellar kick off to the new era of WSE!
Rex: Not really... but though it sucked, I'm sure not too many people read this crap to even notice. Except the roleplayers. And roleplayers... we're sorry. We're sorry that we couldn't provide a very good show... Actually, we couldn't care less, but hey, you signed up, you had an archive of past WSE shows to look at, so you SHOULD have been prepared already for the shit fest to expect.
Wes: You're not really helping in providing the roleplayers with an enjoyable experience, Rex...
Rex: And I should care because... ?
Wes: Ugh... Anyway sports fans, join us next time, when we present the first Nitro of the Mpire Mall Era! Bubbles will have his first title defense, as will THE Mac Bry, and we'll have WSE's first EVER Body Slam Challenge!!!
Rex: Oh joy of joys...
Wes: For Rex Winters, this is Wes Rivers saying...
Rex: Time to go check out PentHouse! Lesbians... WOOHOO!!!
Wes: Oh brother... goodnight everybody.
|copy and paste right @ 2010 - World Sports Entertainment : Because honestly... we just don't give a shit.|
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
First off, the first [and only...] video based episode of Nitro, "Episode 3 - Total Non-Stop Action Figures~!!1a" ;
Part1 -
Part2 -
Part3 -
Part4 -
Part5 -
Part6 -
Part7 -
Part8 -
Part9 -
Part10 -
Part11 -
Part12 -
And now, the fourth [and final...] episode of WSE Nitro...
... WSE Nitro #4 : Where One Door Closes.
==================
Live [on tape] from The Hell Hole!!!
Nowhere, OKLAHOMA ... 07/18/10
==================
[WELCOME...
... the 4th of July SPECTACULAR~!!1]
[Ok... so maybe it's actually a week AFTER the 4th... but hey, this shit's taped, so we can just say it was taped on the 4th, and broadcasted a week later. Oh, the joys of being FUCKIN' LAZY!!! ;D ]
[THE Tron displays a grand fireworks celebration, as red, white and blue pyro blasts all over the stage, ramp and ring... and there goes our entire budget for the next year and a half. ]
[We send it to Wes Rivers and Rex Winters... and Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker. Unfortunately.]
BBQ: BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, BAH -
[Suddenly, Rex receives an e-mail.]
Rex: Hey, I just received an e-mail!
[... I JUST said that.]
Rex: And it's from our anonymous GM!
[... The fuck? Since when did we have an anonymous GM?]
Rex: Since "The Writer" thought it'd be funny to rip-off that storyline from Raw.
[Ah... touche. Proceed.]
Rex: It reads... Boom Boom, WHAT?!, BOOM BOOM! Yer melee mouthed bastard ass done gone and made me fed up fer the last cotton pickin' time! We may be friends... er... I mean... we MAY be friends, dependin' on who I am exactly... WHICH YOU DON'T KNOW! Cuz I's anonymous and shit. But anyfuck, if ya'll want ol' Drunk Ass Anonymous GM to open up a can ah whip that ass on Boom Boom Quaker, then y'all gimme a FUCK YEAH!
Audience: FUCK YEAH!
Rex: Fuck yeah! Er... I mean...
BBQ: That was mean, Rex. Real mean.
Rex: AHEM... he goes on to state that, "I had me one beer... WHAT! ... two beers... WHAT! ... three mutha' fuckin' beers! An' that's all I gots tah say about that. So, Boom Boom, quite frankly... yer gonna get a Drunk Ass Drop from this anonymous sumbitch, and ya ain't gonna know when, ya ain't gonna know where, cuz ya just cain't trust the Arkansas garter snake! ... I mean, the Arkansas Anonymous GM! I'm gonna stomp a few anonymous mud pies, walk a dog, drink another beer, and THAT'S the bottom of the ninth... cuz the anonymous GM anonymously said it be so~!!1" Signed, Drunk Ass Anonymous GM.
Wes: Wow... how anonymous.
Rex: Shaddap... it wasn't any worse than what Raw did, I can tell ya that much...
Wes: Well sports fans, it appears we've got a new GM here on Nitro, and we, quote unquote, "don't know who he is"... ch'yeah, right.
Boom Boom: Well folks, I only gots one idea who this could possibly be. ... Eugene!
Wes: ... Huh?
Rex: DRUNK ASS DROP TO BOOM BOOM!
[Indeed, Boom Boom is spun around in his chair, and dropped over the shoulder... of none other than Drunk Ass Austin Stevens!]
Wes: What a surprise...
Drunk Ass: Drunk Ass 51:50 says, I've been instated as tonight's SPECIAL General Manager, by our esteemed Chairman of the Bored... THE Mac Bry!!! Seein' as how Mac has been banned from the mall till tomorrow, he ain't gonna be allowed 'round here tah oversee his show. So, he called in the Sherrif himself tah oversee his flagship brand! As muh first order ah business, seein' as how Mac ain't here tah-night, he also ain't gonna be able to compete in that there six-man tag... so I'm gonna hafta find a dad gum replacement. And I's can think ah none better... than the Chef of Death... the Bread Man... the UNDERBAKER!
[The crowd cheers at this. Which will more than likely be the last time they do so for the night. Unless, for some unknown reason, a hot chick runs naked through the ring later on. But don't bet on it...]
Drunk Ass: BUT... fer right now? I'm makin' a decision concernin' another match... namely, MINE. Nut Cracka! Y'all gitcher cotton pickin, lilly livered, no good, side windin' ASS right down here, right NOW... so's I can KICK IT!
[Drunk Ass stomps around the ring, as Howard Fecal introduces the interim GM's opponent...]
Fecal: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, I just flew in from Kentucky, and BOY are my arms tired! ;D
[Crowd groans in disgust at Howard's terrible joke. Get used to 'em, folks, there's gonna be a million more terrible jokes throughout the rest of the night...]
Fecal: But seriously... the following contest is scheduled for one Drunk Ass Drop followed by one Nut Cracka jobbing... and the winner, ie Drunk Ass, will go on to face both Halfway Johnson as well as Anarchy in a triple threat for the Applecore title... at CYBER SERIES~!!1 Drunk Ass' opponent... NUT CRACKA!
["Nut Cracka Suite" by Potato Head Joe hits, and Nut Cracka is magically in the ring. What, you thought I'd give this jobber... er, CHARACTER, a fancy intro after Big Fella failed to roleplay THREE TIMES IN A TERRY FUNKIN' ROW?! In the words of Austin Stevens... NEH-EH! Drunk Ass stares down Nut...
... before DRUNK ASS DROP, pin, 1,2,3... Drunk Ass Austin Stevens is going to Cyber Series!]
Wes: Again... what a surprise.
Rex: Hey! I'm supposed to be the sarcastic smark around here, not you! So go back into gullible, naive mark mode, or I'll have to take off my boot, shine it up all nice and spiffy like, turn that sucka sideways, and shove it straight up... your CANDY ASS!
Wes: If ya smell... *sniff, sniff* ... is that... gasoline?
Rex: YES! Our one night only General Manager, Drunk Asss Austin Stevens, is pouring gasoline all over Nut Cracka!!! And he's got a match... which he just lit!
*WHOOSH!!!*
Wes & Rex: OH MY GOD!!!
Rex: Drunk Ass has just set Cracka on FIRE!
Beavis: Fire! Fire, fire, fire! ... I AM BUNGHOLIO!
Butt-head: Huh huh huh... shut up dillweed.
Rex: ... They're worse than we are, Wes.
Wes: Ain't that the truth... but regardless, Drunk Ass is now roasting marshmallows over the decaying flesh of Nut Cracka!
Rex: THIS IS AWESOME! *clap, clap, clap, clap, clap* THIS IS AWESOME!
Wes: Well, atleast it's one way to get rid of a waste of roster space.
Rex: Ahh... nothin' beats marshmallows over an open fire. ... I think I see Cracka's melted nose on the ring canvas! And there's an ear!
Wes: Drunk Ass splashes a bucket of water over Nut Cracka's corpse, but all that's left at this point is a mass of bones, muscle tissue, and rotting skin...
Rex: It's GRRRRR-EAT!
Wes: ... You're sick, Rex.
Rex: Thank you.
|commercial break|
[When we return, Howard Fecal is in the ring, ready to -
Rex: HELLZ YEAH! WOO-HOO! IT'S PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE IN THE FLESH!
Wes: What on EARTH...
[... well, I did say the crowd wouldn't cheer again unless they saw a hot chick run naked through the ring...
... and I'll be a son-of-a-bitch if that isn't EXACTLY what's going on!]
Rex: Dammit, where's my cell phone camera when I need it!!!
Wes: Well, atleast this is a memory that'll last you a lifetime.
Rex: You're right about that... PUPPIES! Big, beautiful, BARE puppies!!! Which reminds me... Wes? Pay up.
Wes: Crap... was hoping you'd forget.
[Wes, I said it in the first place ; Don't Bet on It. And what did you do?]
Wes: I betted on it.
[Exactly. For SHAME!]
Wes: I feel like such a fool.
[Well, anyfuck, as Wes dishes over a hundred dollar bill to his broadcast partner (the poor sap) ... Bubbles the Green Bastard and Halfway Johnson are already in the ring, and Howard Fecal begins to announce their team mate...]
Fecal: Hailing from right'chere, in the good ol' U.S. of A.... he is YOUR American Hero... YOUR Patriotic Champion of the People... he is... Redd... W... BLOOOOO!!!~!
["Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen plays over the speakers, and the crowd is... absolutely silent. Yup... that buzz died quickly. Redd proceeds to emerge from the curtains, clad in his customary red, white and blue garb and mask, and the patriot waves the American flag proudly in the air. Redd marches down the ramp, storms the ring, and plants the flag firmly in the corner turnbuckle.]
Wes: Sports fans, this one oughta be a DOOZY! Bubbles and Halfway are looking to free the 4-play titles from the mWo's clutches, while UnderBaker will be defending THE Mac's mWo championship against the American from America, Redd W. Bloo.
Rex: The American from America? Isn't that a bit... redundant?
Wes: No more so than "The All-American American". Just another quick jab at WWE, Rex...
Rex: Point taken.
Fecal: And their opponents...
[Suddenly, the lights cut out... before THE Tron fills with static... spotlights shine every which way... "Back in Black" hits, and the crowd finally gives another reaction, only this one of the negative kind... It's the m... W...o!]
Wes: THE mWo's "InsideOutsiders", Sucka T and MaxWell Gates, are strutting through the curtain... and they look to have an air of confidence.
Rex: And why shouldn't they? They have this thing in the BAG! They're the absolute BEST tag team WSE has to offer! There's no way in hell some sawed off, second rate "team" like Johnson and Bubbles are taking their prized possesion! In fact -
*GONG*
Rex: ... Well, then there's always UnderBaker. Doesn't hurt to have him in your corner. ;D
*GONG*
["Eat It" by 'Weird' Al Yankovic hits, and the crowd roars their approval, as the Chef of Death slowly waltzes out from the back... and he walks so slowly, that the match actually begins before he's even able to make it to the ring! Bubbles, Halfway, and Redd W. are all three ganging up on the InsideOutsiders, and 'Baker is only about a third of the distance down the ramp!]
Wes: Bubbles irish whips Sucka T into the ropes... and Halfway catches Sucka with a SPEAR! Bubbles then hooks Sucka by the hair, lifts the ghetto gangstah to his feet, and then loads him up for the jackhammer! But Max manages to pull Sucka out of harm's way... unfortunately for Maxwell, Bubbles is able to hit a dropkick to the X-Station Wii60 creator's mush, sending him rolling to the outside... where The UnderBaker has FINALLY arrived!
Rex: Baker smiles down at his partner... pulls Max to his feet... and SLAMS his face into the side of the ring!!! Baker stands back a bit... before delievering a CRUSHING big boot to Max's face! Dammit you moron, you're supposed to be putting petty arguments aside for the sake of THE Mac's belt!
Baker: [to Rex] You honestly think I care about defending that lost soul's title? Our Chairman... he and I go way back. And there's not a DAMN thing that's going to stop me.... from doing THIS...
['Baker pulls a table out from beneath the ring... props it up, and then lays Maxwell on top of it... UnderBaker slides into the ring, and grabs Bubbles by the throat... before CHOKESLAMMING him up and over the ropes... to the outside... and through Maxwell and the table!]
Fecal: Team Redd W. Bloo has just picked up their first table! Two more and Bubbles & Halfway will be crowned the NEW tag champs!
Rex: What on EARTH?!
Wes: Well Rex, it's simple... Bubbles, TECHNICALLY, just put Max through the table... or atleast, Bubble's body did...
Rex: ... THAT'S RICKOCULOUS~!!1
Wes: That may be... which it is... but the fact stands that Redd's partners only need two more tables and they will officially be the NEW 4-play champions. And now UnderBaker is slowly heading back UP the ramp...
...
Wes: It's Jack Hoff! Former chairman of WSE, Jack Hoff, is standing on the stage!
Rex: I used to love that guy... but now, with all this talk of ECWCWWF, I just KNOW I'm going to end up hating him... the traitor!
Wes: You're only saying that because THE Mac is the guy that writes your checks... and you KNOW he's watching this at home.
Rex: ... I know. But I'm sure Mac will appreciate the ass kissing, anyway.
Wes: I'm sure he will...
[Jack Hoff smiles at 'Baker...]
Jack Hoff: Baker... just like you and Mac, you and I go way back. And I know we ain't always seen eye to eye... well, we never did, seeing as... well, you're like two or three feet taller than me, BUT IREGARDLESS... fact ah the matter is, I'm here, recruiting talent for ECWCWWF... and there isn't anybody bettah talented than you, big guy! So... whadya say? You in?
'Baker: You... want to know what I say? You want a few words, eh... well, the Chef of Death only has three...
Rest...
in...
YEEEAAASSSTTT!!!
[Before Jack even knows what happened, 'Baker hooks Hoff by his fat, meaty throat, before reeling him in... 'Baker turns Jack upside down... and DROPS him with a Tombstone Pizzadriver!]
Baker: [Crouching over the fallen Hoff] ... ECWCWWF... rest in peace.
["Eat It" hits once again, as UnderBaker raises a fist to the air... and the crowd begins to chant 'Un-Der-Bake-Er!, Un-Der-Bake-Er!' ... fade to commercial.]
|commercial break|
Wes: And we're back! During the break, Max and Sucka put Bubbles and Halfway through three tables.
Rex: Really? I mean... REALLY?!
Wes: And so, not only are the mWo still the champs, but Bubbles and Halfway are ELIMINATED!
Rex: When the hell did THAT find its way into the rules?!
Wes: That leaves us with Max and Sucka vs Redd, and the only way Redd is going to pick up that mWo belt is if he puts one of them through a table. But... wait a damn minute! Max just left the ring! And Sucka is alone with Redd... who just GORED Sucka through a table! REDD IS THE MWO CHAMPION~!!1
Rex: Talk about rushing it... yeah, I know, I've only said that about a million times in the past.
Wes: Sucka is staring at Max in disgust, barely able to open his eyes in Maxwell's direction as he lies on the canvas in a heap of wood...
Rex: ... Yip. Anyfuck, Jack Hoff is on the stage... and he's shaking his hands with MAXWELL?! Oh crap... I sense bad things here... Seriously, the mWo is pretty much done for at this point. I'm sad now.
Wes: I've just received word that Mac is at ECWCWWF HQ... in an army golf cart!
Rex: ... I'm close to quitting again... I can feel it coming in the air tonight... oh lord.
[Mac is seen at the HQ...
... pulls random hijinx...
... security tosses him out on his ass.
Mac screams obscenities in their general direction as scene fades.]
Rex: ... THIS IS PATHETIC!
Wes: And we're just getting started!
Rex: DAMMIT!
[We find Jack in Mac's office, talking to Sucka.]
Jack: Man, I know you loathed what happened out there... but I'm gonna make you an offer ya can't refuse. Remember the good ol' days of the Glass Ceilin' Gang? You were in there... and you can be with me again!
Sucka: Nope.
Jack: Ok.
[Return to the ring.]
Rex: ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?!
Wes: Hey, Shane's only doing this to wrap up a few loose ends. Simple as.
Rex: Shane... McMahon? ... Recycled jokes = FTW! ;D
Wes: I've just received word that D-Jobberation X have joined ECWCWWF and have taken WSE's 4-play tag titles with them!
Rex: That'll work.
Wes: What's that supposed to mean?
Rex: I haven't a clue.
Wes: Take it away Howie!
Howie Fecal: Deal... or NO Deal!?
Redd W. Bloo: DEAL, BROTHER!
Fecal: Well there ya have it LLLLLLLLLAdies and gentlemeeeen... Redd has just ditched WSE for ECWCWWF!
Redd: And for my next trick... OLD GLORY TO HOWIE!
Fecal: Oh shit...
Wes: Redd just LEVELED Fecal with the Old Glory clothesline! And he's officially joined ECWCWWF! So has everyone else on the roster except the UnderBaker, Sucka T, Drunk Ass, John Semen, Goo the Adventurer, and Reeve Gordon.
Rex: ... Damn.
Wes: Our special General Manager, Drunk Ass, is IN THE RING!
Drunk Ass: WHAT?!
Wes: I said you're in the ring!
Drunk Ass: Ah, ok. Anyfuck, I'm quittin' good ol' WSE!
Wes: WHAT?!
Drunk Ass: I SAID I'M QUITTIN' WSE!
Wes: You bastard!
Drunk Ass: And I'm goin' over tah good ol' ECWCWWF!
Wes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Drunk Ass: YES! And that's the bottom of the ninth, cuz some lame brain said it be so!
Rex: Lame brain named Shane...
Wes: KAYFABE!
Rex: Er... THE Mac. ... Better?
Wes: Much.
[Drunk Ass is about to leave, when Basic Wigganomix hits... John Semen magically appears in the ring.]
Semen: YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO... yooooo! ... I quit too!
Wes: DAG FLABBIT!
Semen: Yo, I'mmah lay it down fo' ya,
I'm onna blow it past ya,
This here is the real shit,
And I'm gonna outlast ya!
WSE is dead, and that is the TRUTH...
ECWCWWF is blowin' off da fudgin' ROOF!
So ya best tah git steppin' if ya know what hurdd...
... a Revolution is comin', and I just gone made a -
Fans: TURD!
Semen: ... Word to yo lawyer!
Wes: I can't believe this! Now the ONLY members of the WSE roster are UnderBaker, Sucka T, Goo the Adventurer, and Reeve Gordon! THIS IS ANARCHY!
Rex: Oh, and speaking of which, all of the roleplay intiative members died on the way back to their respective home planets. I hear Bubbles and HFD were set to get married on Planet Boingdexter... what a shame.
Wes: Either way, WSE is in SHAMBLES! Which isn't saying much compared to how it's always been anyway... but now it's even WORSE!
Rex: Well, I QUIT!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: DAMMIT ALL TO -
[Suddenly, the camera switches to -
Wes: HELL!
[ - where Axl VanHalen and Reeve Gordon are fighting in a cell. This is the first EVER... Cell in a Hell match!]
Wes: Perfect timing. Axl and Reeve try to fight eachother in the cage... but are quickly engulfed by flames. Meanwhile, Satan laughs mockingly... Hm. That was the shortest match in WSE history. Right next Drunk Ass earlier in the night against Nut Cracka. Which reminds me -
[Drunk Ass magically appears in the ring, holding THE Belt, which he now holds since Rough Shagwell died on the way back to his home planet of Shagadellic Z5.]
Wes: And here's his opponent!
[It's GOO! Goo is in there trying to save face for WSE! Bring the BELT back home, Goo!]
BBQ: BAH GAWD, DRUNK ASS DROP, 123, DRUNK ASS WINS!
Wes: Whoopdie damn doo... Anyway, Drunk Ass is still THE Champ. I guess he'll be taking that to ECWCWWF. As will D-Jobberation X be taking the 4-play titles. And speaking of which -
[D-JX, as well as Luigi Mario, Gruel Renshaw, Nickey Mowse, El Taco, Major Mario, Zorlax Firling, LMNOP, The Brown Ranger, SuperGuyManDudePerson... and URKLE?! ... are all in the ring, for a 12 man Royal Royal.]
Wes: And Vince Russo is on the outside, playing Special Enforcer. Just what this show needs now... HIM!
Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker: But wait a dad gum minute, bah hawg! It's Cyndi Lauper! Vanilla Ice! Rico Suave! Ozzy Osbourne! And the undead zombie corpse of Michael Jackson! IT'S DA BAH GAWD 80s HORSEMEN!
Wes: Who are all five invading the ring, and eating ALL TWELVE MEN'S brains! Except for D-Jobberation X, who are wisely grabbing their tag gold and getting the hell outta there! IT'S A BLOODY MASSACRE!
|ads|
Wes: And the ring has been cleared of blood, guts, and brain gack. And so, it is time for the main event of Nitro 4! The only three men left in WSE, THE Mac, The UnderBaker, and Sucka T, will take on the Glass Ceiling Gang - Jack Hoff, John Semen, and a returning HollyRock! And it's gonna be a dildo on a pole match! It should be EPIC, sports fans!
BBQ: BAH -
|ads|
Wes: Oh my GOD, what a match!
Rex: Boy am I glad I quit...
BBQ: I'm gonna have to join ya, BAH GAWD! WSE is DEAD! Long live ECWCWW-BAHGAWD-F~!!1
Wes: Meh... I quit too. I've had way too much of this... and I've just received word from my new boss, Jack Hoff, that Sucka T and UnderBaker have given in and decided to join as well.
Rex: Money talks! Simple as!
Wes: Well sports fans, it's been a nice two and some odd years... but the road's finally come to an end. The only men left in WSE at this point are the Chairman of the Bored, THE Mac... and his NEW "WSE NetherWorld Champion", Goo the Adventurer... pretty much by default. Wait... Goo just died on the way back to his home land of Hyperbolithica! And so, the FINAL WSE Champion... THE Mac Bry! As well as the ONLY member of WSE, it's Chairman, and the only guy who wasn't smart enough to ditch the sinking ship and join the winning team! Too bad Mac... too f'n bad!
Rex: That's cold, Wes... STONE Cold.
BBQ: BAH GAWD, ECWCWWF is gonna be a TUNA BAKER!
Wes: For Rex Winters & Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker, this is Wes Rivers saying... PEACE!
~ believe ~
*copied right 2010 - Extremely Crappy World Championship Waupner Wrestling Federation. To Insanity... and BEYOND!*
Voice: So THIS is the place...
[We find a short bus pulled up to the side of Mpire Mall, Nowhere's Numero Uno shopping district... with eight men stood outside of the terribly large building...]
[Mad Hatter...]
["Rushing" Tom...]
[The Cock...]
[Hyped Fairy Daddy...]
[Johnny Jones...]
[The Nut Cracka...]
[Anarchy...]
[... and Bubbles "The Green Bastard".]
Voice: Boys... this place is going to be torn to the core... and I'M going to be the one to take THAT Belt!
[We see Bubbles shouting these words at the other four... before Tom stares at him.]
Tom: Oh? Well you'll have to GET TO IT first! And everyone knows I'm the fastest out of all eight of us! I'll be here first... and after I leave you in the dust? You'll know that I and I ALONE deserve THE Belt!
Cock: The Cock says... just FUCK it!
HFD: I say... nothing. Because I didn't rp.
Anarchy: THIS! IS! ANARCHY!
Johnny Jones & Nut Cracka : ...
[All seven men look over at Mad Hatter... who sips from a tea cup.]
Hatter: Mmmm... gentlemen? Tonight...
... we dine in WONDERLAND~!!!1
[The driver steps out of the short bus...]
THE Mac Bry: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready tah RICK ROLLLLLLLLL!!!
THE Mac Bry: ... Click it. You know you wanna.
= = = = = = = = = =
Live [on tape] and ONLY... on Paper-View!!!
Hosted at the Hell Hole Arena, in Nowhere, Oklahoma~!!!
= = = = = = = = = =
[We re-open, this time to the Hell Hole Arena, the home stadium of the wonderfully magnificent organization that is...
... World Sports Entertainment.]
[Inside, sitting at the announce table, are none other than WSE's ICONIC commentary team... or atleast, "iconic" in their minds and theirs alone... Wes Rivers and Rex Winters.]
Wes: Hello there sports fans, and welcome to the very FIRST Paper-View of WSE's new era... it's NEW HORIZON... here at the Mall!
Rex: I've stocked up on PentHouse porn magazines, and boy lemme tell ya, I...am...READY!
Wes: Ladies and gents, tonight, we will not only be crowning a brand NEW THE Champion... but "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens will also be defending his Applecore title against not one, not two, not three, but FOUR challengers!
Rex: And unfortunately that's up first... lousy, stinkin' job... I wish I was watching this on DV-R so I could press FAST FORWARD!
Wes: All five men are standing in the ring at this time, surrounded by the triple decker Kaos Kage... the first man to make it ALLLL the way to the top of the cage and grab the gold will claim the Applecore championship.
Rex: And after this crap fest, we'll head over to the Mall, where eight men will have to run around to first find the shopper holding the key... and then to find the store carrying the suitcase holding THE Belt! ... This is going to be a long, long night...
Wes: And with that, let's send it to the ring!
[All five men... Austin Stevens, John Semen, Nickey Mowse, THE Mac Bry, and the UnderBaker... are standing mid-ring.]
Wes: The ref signals for the bell, and this one's underway! Nickey Mowse immediately goes after the champ, "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens... but Stevens brings Mowse crashing down with the Drunk Ass Drop!!! Mowse rolls to the outside, and Austin turns his attention to THE Mac Bry.
Rex: What on EARTH is John Semen doing?!
Wes: It appears as though he's offering the UnderBaker a donut in exchange for the Bread Man to allow Semen to climb the ladder to the second cage... but the Chef of Death isn't having any of it! 'Baker grabs up the donut and crumbles it into tiny pieces... before decking Semen with a huuuge right hand!
Rex: And Semen is splayed out on the mat!
Wes: UnderBaker bounces off the ropes, leaps into the air, and brings down a massive legdrop across the throat of the Chain Gang of Love Soldier... and while he does so, Stevens is stomping a mudpie in THE Mac's gut and walking a dog!
Rex: Walking a dog???
Wes: Get it? Walking it dry... walking a... nevermind.
Rex: Regardless of Wes' retarded joke, the fact remains that THE Mac is having his ass handed to him by the Texas Garden Snake, Austin Stevens! But... Mowse is outside the ring, climbing the ladder to the second cage!!!
Wes: And he's made it! Mowse is hussling his way toward the third cage now... but The UnderBaker has hooked his foot! 'Baker is now in the second cage as well... and he lands a vicous powerbomb off of the ladder, sending Mowse hurtling to the first cage floor!!! And just to remind you all, the second cage is lined with WEAPONS!!!
Rex: But not guns... Or knives. Or... well, any real weapons actually. More like... furniture. Chairs, ladders, tables... you get the drift. But a cage lined with FURNITURE! ... just doesn't have the same spark, ya know?
Wes: Thank Bob for copy and paste... Anyfvck, UnderBaker has grabbed a steel chair... he lifts the steel above his head... but Nickey Mowse brings Baker down with a drop toe hold, crushing Baker's skull into the chair he himself is holding!
Rex: How dumb do you have to be to hit yourself in the head with a steel chair?
Wes:
Anyhell... Mowse grabs a table from off the steel mesh wall, and sets it up center of the cage... Mowse brings Baker back up to a vertical base... and...Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker: AUSTIN STEVENS! AUSTIN STEVENS!! BAH GAWD, AUSTIN STEVENS!!!
Rex: Dammit, I thought we got rid of that guy when we moved to our new forum here at the Mall?
Wes: He's sticking with WSE like a bad habit...
Good ol' BBQ: Good ol' Drunk Ass has kicked the feet right outta from under that there Mowse, and bah GAWD, UnderBaker has fallen right ontoppa the Disney Corporation's head honcho! Bah Gawd on a Bisquik, this'n is turnin' outta be a Tuna Baker beyond measure! It's a Knobber Slocker, folks! How d'ya learn to fall ontop of another guy's face with your ass after ya been picked up tah be thrown through a table that surely coulda been BROKEN IN HALF~!!!??!?!!!~!1
Wes & Rex: ...
Rex: Security!!!
Good ol' BBQ: NO! NO! BAH GAWD, NO! Dammit, I'm a Hall of Shamer for cryin' out loud!!! Folks, lemme tell ya right now, that triple decker cage ain't made outta candy!
Rex: And I'm sure that dissapoints you greatly...
[Security drags Boom Boom away from the announce desk, as he kicks and screams...]
Good ol' BBQ: Folks, buy muh barbee-cue saush!!! It smells like shit an' tastes like spit! Good ol' Boom Boom's Spit n' Shit BBQ Saush... it's good shit! LITERALLY!!!~!
Wes: Well, anyhow. As Boom Boom mentioned in his idiotic fashion, Austin Stevens has made it to the second cage, and has began a double team on Mowse, assisted by UnderBaker! But here comes THE Mac Bry from the first cage! Mac grabs a broom, winds it up...
*CRACK!*
Wes: And THE Mac has just broken the broom stick clean in half over the back of the Undead Bread Man! ... But it didn't EVEN PHAZE him! Baker spins around, eyes glaring with rage... and Baker snatches Mac by the throat... Baker hoists Mac up... but Mowse clips the back of Baker's knee, and Baker drops the Chairman of WSE, with the Chef of Death dropping to one knee.
Rex: And now Stevens has a potted plant! Stevens lifts the vase overhead... before bringing it down HARD over the head of THE Mac! The vase is shattered, and Mac is lying near unconcious on the mesh floor... But Nickey Mowse uppercuts Stevens right between the uprights... and Austin drops to his knees... Baker still left on one.
Wes: Nickey grabs both Baker and Stevens heads... and brings them colliding together! Both men are now lying on the mesh floor, and Mowse is climbing the ladder to the third cage! ... But hold on a damn minute! John Semen is finally in the second cage, and he's got a... what in the hot pink hell IS that?
Rex: It's a flaming bag of dog crap!
Semen: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo... YO! ... POOPIE!!!
Wes: And Semen blasts Nickey in the face with that sack of crap, and the Mowse is out of it!
Rex: Whether it's from the impact or simply the stench... I have no clue.
Wes: Now SEMEN is climbing the ladder to the third cage, and he's MADE IT! But THE Mac is following him up... John Semen loads Mac up for the Fvck You as soon as the Boss Man makes it up... but -
Rex: YES!!! It's the m... W... ooo!!! Mac's girlfriend, and the QUEEN of WSE, Krystal Dawn... as well as Maxwell Gates and Redd W. Bloo. It's a four on one assault... and I'm lovin' it!
Wes: You would... But the UnderBaker, Austin Stevens, AND Nickey Mowse have all made it to the top cage, and it's an eight person melee! It reminds me of the eight man Mpire Mall Massacre main event we'll be seeing NEXT...
Rex: It would...
Wes: ... What's that supposed to mean?
Rex: It means LOOKIT THAT! The third cage is lined with food, and all eight combatants in the top cage are slinging the stuff around...
Wes: There goes a corn dog... there goes a muffin... there goes ANOTHER muffin... there goes yet another muffin!
Rex: The writer ran out of ideas for food items pretty quickly, didn't he...
Wes: You're darn tootin'! And Austin Stevens pops off the Drunk Ass Drop on both Redd W. Bloo as well as Maxwell Gates at the SAME EXACT TIME, and they both tumble to the side of the cage...
Rex: Krystal Dawn goes for a bitch slap to the Bionic Hick... but he grabs her wrist, and...
Wes: THE Mac clotheslines Stevens from behind! Austin releases his grip on Krys, and the Billion Dollar Hillbilly reels around, right into a SPEAR from THE Mac!!! THE Mac begins driving his knuckles into the skull of Stevens, but Baker yanks the Chairman off and goes for a big boot...
Rex: Mac ducks under, and The Chef of Death's sole meets with the mush of Semen, sending Johnny boy flying! Semen is down, Stevens is down, Baker and Mac are trading right fists... and Nickey Mowse is now trying to climb out of the third cage and to the top... he's made it once again, and he could very well claim the Applecore title for himself!!!
Wes: But in the third cage, Bloo and Max have taken hold of Baker's arms! Mac's girlfriend Krystal... she just SLAPPED the taste out of UnderBaker's mouth! Baker turns his head from the contact... he turns his eyes back forward, only to find himself face to face with THE Mac. T MB steps back a bit... before rushing in with a wicked superkick! Baker falls to the mesh floor, and -
Rex: Mowse has done it! Mowse has retrieved the strap! Mowse is the NEW Applecore champion!
Wes: While the mWo was busy taking out Baker, Nickey managed to sneak the gold into his custody, and is now making his way down into the third cage... wait... if he does THAT though, with all four members of the mWo still inside, the 24/7 rules of the Applecore title will mean...
Rex: Uh oh... the mWo is DISMANTLING Nick! Bloo and Max drop the Chosen Mouse Eared One with a double chokeslam, and Mac goes for the pin cover... with Krys sitting atop her boyfriend for extra coverage... and THE Mac has done it!!!
Wes: Thanks to the 24/7 rule, THE Mac Bry and the mWo have aquired the belt AFTER the Triple Decker Kaos Kage Match!
Rex: Well... I WAS happy that Nickey had taken the belt, due to him being the golden child for Disney, which pays half my check... but hey, THE Mac pays the other half... either way, YAY ME!!!
Wes: Well sports fans, as the mWo celebrates the title victory upon the Kaos Kage, we now send it over to the Mpire Mall in downtown Nowhere, where eight men will compete to crown the first WSE "THE Champ" of the Mall Era!!! Who will walk away with the gold? Let's find out... after THESE -
|ads|
[The camera opens, once again, to the Mpire Mall in downtown Nowhere, Oklahoma. This time, we find all eight men standing in the food court... with the referee explaining the rules.]
Ref: Men... the rules are simple. You will all battle throughout the mall, searching for a shopper... a MYSTERY shopper. Your goal is to pick their pocket, and once you find the customer holding a lime green and hot pink colored key, you will be in possesion of the gateway to your FUTURE... The first of you eight StupidStars to take the key to Goth Topik and retrieve the suitcase held there... will be able to open said case, and find yourself in possesion of THE Belt!!!
Rex: ... He lied when he said the rules were simple. Plain and simple, he LIED!
Wes: Anyhell sports fans, the eight men are already duking out rights and lefts to one another, and this main event of the evening is underway!
Rex: Wait a DAMN minute... it's Rough Shagwell!!! And he's just layed out all eight men with his WICKED stench!
Wes: That man hasn't bathed in WEEKS! The horror! THE HORROR!
Rex: Hyped Fairy Daddy is desperately trying to regain his senses... so is Bubbles and the rest...
Wes: But Rough just ripped a juicy fart! AND ALL EIGHT MEN ARE LEFT UNCONCIOUS!!!
Rex: THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! ... Seriously, this is THE most terrible match I've witnessed in WSE history... and believe me, that covers alot of crappy ground...
Wes: Rough... Rough is reaching into his pocket... AND HE HAS THE KEY!!! Rough Shagwell has the key to the suitcase carrying THE Belt! He's the mystery shopper!
Rex: And you KNOW he's going to use it for his own dastardly doings!!! Shagwell is heading for Goth Topik... and he's made it!
Wes: Rough is... Rough is... Rough has found the suitcase in the goth poser store! He's going to unlock the case...
*CLONK!*
Wes: But he's just been smashed in the back of the head with a goth make up case! Shagwell crumples to the floor... and standing tall above him is none other than the Mad Hatter, grinning from ear to ear!
Rex: He's ALWAYS grinning from ear to ear... the guy's MAD... MAD I TELLS YA!
Wes: And now Hatter is going to unlock the case...
... but is RUSHED from behind by Rushing Tom!!! Tom goes after Hatter, laying in stomp after stomp... he goes to unlock the case after Hatter is taken care of...
Rex... But he's superkicked in the back of the head!!!
Rex: Anarkick from Anarchy! Anarchy goes to unlock the case...
...
Wes: Spray paint in the face! Hyped Fairy Daddy just sprayed black paint in the face of Anarchy!!! This is MADNESS!!!
Rex: And speaking of madness, here's Johnny Jones... Nut Cracka... The Cock... and Bubbles!!! It's an eight man Mpire Mall madness melee!!!
Wes: Bodies are flying every which way... Jones is clocked from behind with a sack filled to the brim with crappy emo shirts... The Cock and Nut Cracka are fighting with their balls to the wall...
Rex: Wait... hold up... BUBBLES HAS THE CASE... AND HE JUST OPENED IT!!!
Wes: Bubbles the Green Bastard has done it! He's retrieved THE Belt, and he's officially THE Champion!
Rex: And now all seven other men are going after THE Champ! Bubbles is running like his life depends upon it! He's fled from Goth Topik... hell, he's fled The Mall! Bubbles is rushing out of there...
...
Wes: And speaking of rushing... Rushing Tom is waiting outside of the Mall! How on EARTH did he make it out that damn quick?!
Rex: Dammit Wes, his name is Rushing Tom! He's the fastest man on the roster, what do YOU think?!
Wes: Rushing Tom and Bubbles the Green Bastard are trading fists... and here comes the Mad One, Mad Hatter! All three men are battling tooth and nail, even though the match is already finished!
Rex: I've just received word that on the third episode of WSE Nitro, and the first episode of our Disney Channel franchise show since our arrival here at the Mall, we'll be witnessing a triple threat Tables, Ladders and Stairs match... It will be THE Champ, Bubbles, vs Tom and the Hatter, and this match will have theree stages!
Wes: Yes Rex, it's simple ; You must first make it from the backstage to the ring and climb up the ringsteps and through the ropes... where a table will be waiting. You must then drive your opponent through the table, and who does so is handed the title... but to become THE Champion, you must then climb the ladder [also in the ring] and hang the championship above the ring on the provided cable... to become THE Undisputed THE Champion of THE World!!!
Rex: Does anyone in this company know what the word "simple" means? Really? ... I mean REALLY?!
Wes: Nice Miz impression, Rex...
Rex: Thanks. I try.
Wes: Anyfuck, in addition to our main event 3-way between Bubbles the Green Bastard, Rushing Tom and the Mad Hatter... next time on Nitro, we'll also be seeing Anarchy take on Johnny Jones in a Body Slam Challenge to determine the number one contender to the Applecore title! The first man to slam the other will face the Applecore champ at WSE's first 'Disney Special'!
Rex: And in our semi-main event, the NEW Applecore champ, our BELOVED Chairman, THE Mac Bry, will put his title on the line against Hyped Fairy Daddy, The Cock, and Nut Cracka, in an elimination style, pinfalls only fatal 4-way!
Wes: Sports fans, tonight was a stellar kick off to the new era of WSE!
Rex: Not really... but though it sucked, I'm sure not too many people read this crap to even notice. Except the roleplayers. And roleplayers... we're sorry. We're sorry that we couldn't provide a very good show... Actually, we couldn't care less, but hey, you signed up, you had an archive of past WSE shows to look at, so you SHOULD have been prepared already for the shit fest to expect.
Wes: You're not really helping in providing the roleplayers with an enjoyable experience, Rex...
Rex: And I should care because... ?
Wes: Ugh... Anyway sports fans, join us next time, when we present the first Nitro of the Mpire Mall Era! Bubbles will have his first title defense, as will THE Mac Bry, and we'll have WSE's first EVER Body Slam Challenge!!!
Rex: Oh joy of joys...
Wes: For Rex Winters, this is Wes Rivers saying...
Rex: Time to go check out PentHouse! Lesbians... WOOHOO!!!
Wes: Oh brother... goodnight everybody.
|copy and paste right @ 2010 - World Sports Entertainment : Because honestly... we just don't give a shit.|
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
First off, the first [and only...] video based episode of Nitro, "Episode 3 - Total Non-Stop Action Figures~!!1a" ;
Part1 -
Part2 -
Part3 -
Part4 -
Part5 -
Part6 -
Part7 -
Part8 -
Part9 -
Part10 -
Part11 -
Part12 -
And now, the fourth [and final...] episode of WSE Nitro...
... WSE Nitro #4 : Where One Door Closes.
==================
Live [on tape] from The Hell Hole!!!
Nowhere, OKLAHOMA ... 07/18/10
==================
[WELCOME...
... the 4th of July SPECTACULAR~!!1]
[Ok... so maybe it's actually a week AFTER the 4th... but hey, this shit's taped, so we can just say it was taped on the 4th, and broadcasted a week later. Oh, the joys of being FUCKIN' LAZY!!! ;D ]
[THE Tron displays a grand fireworks celebration, as red, white and blue pyro blasts all over the stage, ramp and ring... and there goes our entire budget for the next year and a half.
][We send it to Wes Rivers and Rex Winters... and Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker. Unfortunately.]
BBQ: BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD, BAH -
[Suddenly, Rex receives an e-mail.]
Rex: Hey, I just received an e-mail!
[... I JUST said that.]
Rex: And it's from our anonymous GM!
[... The fuck? Since when did we have an anonymous GM?]
Rex: Since "The Writer" thought it'd be funny to rip-off that storyline from Raw.
[Ah... touche. Proceed.]
Rex: It reads... Boom Boom, WHAT?!, BOOM BOOM! Yer melee mouthed bastard ass done gone and made me fed up fer the last cotton pickin' time! We may be friends... er... I mean... we MAY be friends, dependin' on who I am exactly... WHICH YOU DON'T KNOW! Cuz I's anonymous and shit. But anyfuck, if ya'll want ol' Drunk Ass Anonymous GM to open up a can ah whip that ass on Boom Boom Quaker, then y'all gimme a FUCK YEAH!
Audience: FUCK YEAH!
Rex: Fuck yeah! Er... I mean...
BBQ: That was mean, Rex. Real mean.
Rex: AHEM... he goes on to state that, "I had me one beer... WHAT! ... two beers... WHAT! ... three mutha' fuckin' beers! An' that's all I gots tah say about that. So, Boom Boom, quite frankly... yer gonna get a Drunk Ass Drop from this anonymous sumbitch, and ya ain't gonna know when, ya ain't gonna know where, cuz ya just cain't trust the Arkansas garter snake! ... I mean, the Arkansas Anonymous GM! I'm gonna stomp a few anonymous mud pies, walk a dog, drink another beer, and THAT'S the bottom of the ninth... cuz the anonymous GM anonymously said it be so~!!1" Signed, Drunk Ass Anonymous GM.
Wes: Wow... how anonymous.
Rex: Shaddap... it wasn't any worse than what Raw did, I can tell ya that much...
Wes: Well sports fans, it appears we've got a new GM here on Nitro, and we, quote unquote, "don't know who he is"... ch'yeah, right.
Boom Boom: Well folks, I only gots one idea who this could possibly be. ... Eugene!
Wes: ... Huh?
Rex: DRUNK ASS DROP TO BOOM BOOM!
[Indeed, Boom Boom is spun around in his chair, and dropped over the shoulder... of none other than Drunk Ass Austin Stevens!]
Wes: What a surprise...
Drunk Ass: Drunk Ass 51:50 says, I've been instated as tonight's SPECIAL General Manager, by our esteemed Chairman of the Bored... THE Mac Bry!!! Seein' as how Mac has been banned from the mall till tomorrow, he ain't gonna be allowed 'round here tah oversee his show. So, he called in the Sherrif himself tah oversee his flagship brand! As muh first order ah business, seein' as how Mac ain't here tah-night, he also ain't gonna be able to compete in that there six-man tag... so I'm gonna hafta find a dad gum replacement. And I's can think ah none better... than the Chef of Death... the Bread Man... the UNDERBAKER!
[The crowd cheers at this. Which will more than likely be the last time they do so for the night. Unless, for some unknown reason, a hot chick runs naked through the ring later on. But don't bet on it...]
Drunk Ass: BUT... fer right now? I'm makin' a decision concernin' another match... namely, MINE. Nut Cracka! Y'all gitcher cotton pickin, lilly livered, no good, side windin' ASS right down here, right NOW... so's I can KICK IT!
[Drunk Ass stomps around the ring, as Howard Fecal introduces the interim GM's opponent...]
Fecal: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, I just flew in from Kentucky, and BOY are my arms tired! ;D
[Crowd groans in disgust at Howard's terrible joke. Get used to 'em, folks, there's gonna be a million more terrible jokes throughout the rest of the night...]
Fecal: But seriously... the following contest is scheduled for one Drunk Ass Drop followed by one Nut Cracka jobbing... and the winner, ie Drunk Ass, will go on to face both Halfway Johnson as well as Anarchy in a triple threat for the Applecore title... at CYBER SERIES~!!1 Drunk Ass' opponent... NUT CRACKA!
["Nut Cracka Suite" by Potato Head Joe hits, and Nut Cracka is magically in the ring. What, you thought I'd give this jobber... er, CHARACTER, a fancy intro after Big Fella failed to roleplay THREE TIMES IN A TERRY FUNKIN' ROW?! In the words of Austin Stevens... NEH-EH! Drunk Ass stares down Nut...
... before DRUNK ASS DROP, pin, 1,2,3... Drunk Ass Austin Stevens is going to Cyber Series!]
Wes: Again... what a surprise.
Rex: Hey! I'm supposed to be the sarcastic smark around here, not you! So go back into gullible, naive mark mode, or I'll have to take off my boot, shine it up all nice and spiffy like, turn that sucka sideways, and shove it straight up... your CANDY ASS!
Wes: If ya smell... *sniff, sniff* ... is that... gasoline?
Rex: YES! Our one night only General Manager, Drunk Asss Austin Stevens, is pouring gasoline all over Nut Cracka!!! And he's got a match... which he just lit!
*WHOOSH!!!*
Wes & Rex: OH MY GOD!!!
Rex: Drunk Ass has just set Cracka on FIRE!
Beavis: Fire! Fire, fire, fire! ... I AM BUNGHOLIO!
Butt-head: Huh huh huh... shut up dillweed.
Rex: ... They're worse than we are, Wes.
Wes: Ain't that the truth... but regardless, Drunk Ass is now roasting marshmallows over the decaying flesh of Nut Cracka!
Rex: THIS IS AWESOME! *clap, clap, clap, clap, clap* THIS IS AWESOME!
Wes: Well, atleast it's one way to get rid of a waste of roster space.
Rex: Ahh... nothin' beats marshmallows over an open fire. ... I think I see Cracka's melted nose on the ring canvas! And there's an ear!
Wes: Drunk Ass splashes a bucket of water over Nut Cracka's corpse, but all that's left at this point is a mass of bones, muscle tissue, and rotting skin...
Rex: It's GRRRRR-EAT!
Wes: ... You're sick, Rex.
Rex: Thank you.
|commercial break|
[When we return, Howard Fecal is in the ring, ready to -
Rex: HELLZ YEAH! WOO-HOO! IT'S PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE IN THE FLESH!
Wes: What on EARTH...
[... well, I did say the crowd wouldn't cheer again unless they saw a hot chick run naked through the ring...
... and I'll be a son-of-a-bitch if that isn't EXACTLY what's going on!]
Rex: Dammit, where's my cell phone camera when I need it!!!
Wes: Well, atleast this is a memory that'll last you a lifetime.
Rex: You're right about that... PUPPIES! Big, beautiful, BARE puppies!!! Which reminds me... Wes? Pay up.
Wes: Crap... was hoping you'd forget.
[Wes, I said it in the first place ; Don't Bet on It. And what did you do?]
Wes: I betted on it.
[Exactly. For SHAME!]
Wes: I feel like such a fool.
[Well, anyfuck, as Wes dishes over a hundred dollar bill to his broadcast partner (the poor sap) ... Bubbles the Green Bastard and Halfway Johnson are already in the ring, and Howard Fecal begins to announce their team mate...]
Fecal: Hailing from right'chere, in the good ol' U.S. of A.... he is YOUR American Hero... YOUR Patriotic Champion of the People... he is... Redd... W... BLOOOOO!!!~!
["Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen plays over the speakers, and the crowd is... absolutely silent. Yup... that buzz died quickly. Redd proceeds to emerge from the curtains, clad in his customary red, white and blue garb and mask, and the patriot waves the American flag proudly in the air. Redd marches down the ramp, storms the ring, and plants the flag firmly in the corner turnbuckle.]
Wes: Sports fans, this one oughta be a DOOZY! Bubbles and Halfway are looking to free the 4-play titles from the mWo's clutches, while UnderBaker will be defending THE Mac's mWo championship against the American from America, Redd W. Bloo.
Rex: The American from America? Isn't that a bit... redundant?
Wes: No more so than "The All-American American". Just another quick jab at WWE, Rex...
Rex: Point taken.
Fecal: And their opponents...
[Suddenly, the lights cut out... before THE Tron fills with static... spotlights shine every which way... "Back in Black" hits, and the crowd finally gives another reaction, only this one of the negative kind... It's the m... W...o!]
Wes: THE mWo's "InsideOutsiders", Sucka T and MaxWell Gates, are strutting through the curtain... and they look to have an air of confidence.
Rex: And why shouldn't they? They have this thing in the BAG! They're the absolute BEST tag team WSE has to offer! There's no way in hell some sawed off, second rate "team" like Johnson and Bubbles are taking their prized possesion! In fact -
*GONG*
Rex: ... Well, then there's always UnderBaker. Doesn't hurt to have him in your corner. ;D
*GONG*
["Eat It" by 'Weird' Al Yankovic hits, and the crowd roars their approval, as the Chef of Death slowly waltzes out from the back... and he walks so slowly, that the match actually begins before he's even able to make it to the ring! Bubbles, Halfway, and Redd W. are all three ganging up on the InsideOutsiders, and 'Baker is only about a third of the distance down the ramp!]
Wes: Bubbles irish whips Sucka T into the ropes... and Halfway catches Sucka with a SPEAR! Bubbles then hooks Sucka by the hair, lifts the ghetto gangstah to his feet, and then loads him up for the jackhammer! But Max manages to pull Sucka out of harm's way... unfortunately for Maxwell, Bubbles is able to hit a dropkick to the X-Station Wii60 creator's mush, sending him rolling to the outside... where The UnderBaker has FINALLY arrived!
Rex: Baker smiles down at his partner... pulls Max to his feet... and SLAMS his face into the side of the ring!!! Baker stands back a bit... before delievering a CRUSHING big boot to Max's face! Dammit you moron, you're supposed to be putting petty arguments aside for the sake of THE Mac's belt!
Baker: [to Rex] You honestly think I care about defending that lost soul's title? Our Chairman... he and I go way back. And there's not a DAMN thing that's going to stop me.... from doing THIS...
['Baker pulls a table out from beneath the ring... props it up, and then lays Maxwell on top of it... UnderBaker slides into the ring, and grabs Bubbles by the throat... before CHOKESLAMMING him up and over the ropes... to the outside... and through Maxwell and the table!]
Fecal: Team Redd W. Bloo has just picked up their first table! Two more and Bubbles & Halfway will be crowned the NEW tag champs!
Rex: What on EARTH?!
Wes: Well Rex, it's simple... Bubbles, TECHNICALLY, just put Max through the table... or atleast, Bubble's body did...
Rex: ... THAT'S RICKOCULOUS~!!1
Wes: That may be... which it is... but the fact stands that Redd's partners only need two more tables and they will officially be the NEW 4-play champions. And now UnderBaker is slowly heading back UP the ramp...
...
Wes: It's Jack Hoff! Former chairman of WSE, Jack Hoff, is standing on the stage!
Rex: I used to love that guy... but now, with all this talk of ECWCWWF, I just KNOW I'm going to end up hating him... the traitor!
Wes: You're only saying that because THE Mac is the guy that writes your checks... and you KNOW he's watching this at home.
Rex: ... I know. But I'm sure Mac will appreciate the ass kissing, anyway.
Wes: I'm sure he will...
[Jack Hoff smiles at 'Baker...]
Jack Hoff: Baker... just like you and Mac, you and I go way back. And I know we ain't always seen eye to eye... well, we never did, seeing as... well, you're like two or three feet taller than me, BUT IREGARDLESS... fact ah the matter is, I'm here, recruiting talent for ECWCWWF... and there isn't anybody bettah talented than you, big guy! So... whadya say? You in?
'Baker: You... want to know what I say? You want a few words, eh... well, the Chef of Death only has three...
Rest...
in...
YEEEAAASSSTTT!!!
[Before Jack even knows what happened, 'Baker hooks Hoff by his fat, meaty throat, before reeling him in... 'Baker turns Jack upside down... and DROPS him with a Tombstone Pizzadriver!]
Baker: [Crouching over the fallen Hoff] ... ECWCWWF... rest in peace.
["Eat It" hits once again, as UnderBaker raises a fist to the air... and the crowd begins to chant 'Un-Der-Bake-Er!, Un-Der-Bake-Er!' ... fade to commercial.]
|commercial break|
Wes: And we're back! During the break, Max and Sucka put Bubbles and Halfway through three tables.
Rex: Really? I mean... REALLY?!
Wes: And so, not only are the mWo still the champs, but Bubbles and Halfway are ELIMINATED!
Rex: When the hell did THAT find its way into the rules?!
Wes: That leaves us with Max and Sucka vs Redd, and the only way Redd is going to pick up that mWo belt is if he puts one of them through a table. But... wait a damn minute! Max just left the ring! And Sucka is alone with Redd... who just GORED Sucka through a table! REDD IS THE MWO CHAMPION~!!1
Rex: Talk about rushing it... yeah, I know, I've only said that about a million times in the past.
Wes: Sucka is staring at Max in disgust, barely able to open his eyes in Maxwell's direction as he lies on the canvas in a heap of wood...
Rex: ... Yip. Anyfuck, Jack Hoff is on the stage... and he's shaking his hands with MAXWELL?! Oh crap... I sense bad things here... Seriously, the mWo is pretty much done for at this point. I'm sad now.
Wes: I've just received word that Mac is at ECWCWWF HQ... in an army golf cart!
Rex: ... I'm close to quitting again... I can feel it coming in the air tonight... oh lord.
[Mac is seen at the HQ...
... pulls random hijinx...
... security tosses him out on his ass.
Mac screams obscenities in their general direction as scene fades.]
Rex: ... THIS IS PATHETIC!
Wes: And we're just getting started!
Rex: DAMMIT!
[We find Jack in Mac's office, talking to Sucka.]
Jack: Man, I know you loathed what happened out there... but I'm gonna make you an offer ya can't refuse. Remember the good ol' days of the Glass Ceilin' Gang? You were in there... and you can be with me again!
Sucka: Nope.
Jack: Ok.
[Return to the ring.]
Rex: ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?!
Wes: Hey, Shane's only doing this to wrap up a few loose ends. Simple as.
Rex: Shane... McMahon? ... Recycled jokes = FTW! ;D
Wes: I've just received word that D-Jobberation X have joined ECWCWWF and have taken WSE's 4-play tag titles with them!
Rex: That'll work.
Wes: What's that supposed to mean?
Rex: I haven't a clue.
Wes: Take it away Howie!
Howie Fecal: Deal... or NO Deal!?
Redd W. Bloo: DEAL, BROTHER!
Fecal: Well there ya have it LLLLLLLLLAdies and gentlemeeeen... Redd has just ditched WSE for ECWCWWF!
Redd: And for my next trick... OLD GLORY TO HOWIE!
Fecal: Oh shit...
Wes: Redd just LEVELED Fecal with the Old Glory clothesline! And he's officially joined ECWCWWF! So has everyone else on the roster except the UnderBaker, Sucka T, Drunk Ass, John Semen, Goo the Adventurer, and Reeve Gordon.
Rex: ... Damn.
Wes: Our special General Manager, Drunk Ass, is IN THE RING!
Drunk Ass: WHAT?!
Wes: I said you're in the ring!
Drunk Ass: Ah, ok. Anyfuck, I'm quittin' good ol' WSE!
Wes: WHAT?!
Drunk Ass: I SAID I'M QUITTIN' WSE!
Wes: You bastard!
Drunk Ass: And I'm goin' over tah good ol' ECWCWWF!
Wes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Drunk Ass: YES! And that's the bottom of the ninth, cuz some lame brain said it be so!
Rex: Lame brain named Shane...
Wes: KAYFABE!
Rex: Er... THE Mac. ... Better?
Wes: Much.
[Drunk Ass is about to leave, when Basic Wigganomix hits... John Semen magically appears in the ring.]
Semen: YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO... yooooo! ... I quit too!
Wes: DAG FLABBIT!
Semen: Yo, I'mmah lay it down fo' ya,
I'm onna blow it past ya,
This here is the real shit,
And I'm gonna outlast ya!
WSE is dead, and that is the TRUTH...
ECWCWWF is blowin' off da fudgin' ROOF!
So ya best tah git steppin' if ya know what hurdd...
... a Revolution is comin', and I just gone made a -
Fans: TURD!
Semen: ... Word to yo lawyer!
Wes: I can't believe this! Now the ONLY members of the WSE roster are UnderBaker, Sucka T, Goo the Adventurer, and Reeve Gordon! THIS IS ANARCHY!
Rex: Oh, and speaking of which, all of the roleplay intiative members died on the way back to their respective home planets. I hear Bubbles and HFD were set to get married on Planet Boingdexter... what a shame.
Wes: Either way, WSE is in SHAMBLES! Which isn't saying much compared to how it's always been anyway... but now it's even WORSE!
Rex: Well, I QUIT!
BBQ: BAH GAWD!
Wes: DAMMIT ALL TO -
[Suddenly, the camera switches to -
Wes: HELL!
[ - where Axl VanHalen and Reeve Gordon are fighting in a cell. This is the first EVER... Cell in a Hell match!]
Wes: Perfect timing. Axl and Reeve try to fight eachother in the cage... but are quickly engulfed by flames. Meanwhile, Satan laughs mockingly... Hm. That was the shortest match in WSE history. Right next Drunk Ass earlier in the night against Nut Cracka. Which reminds me -
[Drunk Ass magically appears in the ring, holding THE Belt, which he now holds since Rough Shagwell died on the way back to his home planet of Shagadellic Z5.]
Wes: And here's his opponent!
[It's GOO! Goo is in there trying to save face for WSE! Bring the BELT back home, Goo!]
BBQ: BAH GAWD, DRUNK ASS DROP, 123, DRUNK ASS WINS!
Wes: Whoopdie damn doo... Anyway, Drunk Ass is still THE Champ. I guess he'll be taking that to ECWCWWF. As will D-Jobberation X be taking the 4-play titles. And speaking of which -
[D-JX, as well as Luigi Mario, Gruel Renshaw, Nickey Mowse, El Taco, Major Mario, Zorlax Firling, LMNOP, The Brown Ranger, SuperGuyManDudePerson... and URKLE?! ... are all in the ring, for a 12 man Royal Royal.]
Wes: And Vince Russo is on the outside, playing Special Enforcer. Just what this show needs now... HIM!
Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker: But wait a dad gum minute, bah hawg! It's Cyndi Lauper! Vanilla Ice! Rico Suave! Ozzy Osbourne! And the undead zombie corpse of Michael Jackson! IT'S DA BAH GAWD 80s HORSEMEN!
Wes: Who are all five invading the ring, and eating ALL TWELVE MEN'S brains! Except for D-Jobberation X, who are wisely grabbing their tag gold and getting the hell outta there! IT'S A BLOODY MASSACRE!
|ads|
Wes: And the ring has been cleared of blood, guts, and brain gack. And so, it is time for the main event of Nitro 4! The only three men left in WSE, THE Mac, The UnderBaker, and Sucka T, will take on the Glass Ceiling Gang - Jack Hoff, John Semen, and a returning HollyRock! And it's gonna be a dildo on a pole match! It should be EPIC, sports fans!
BBQ: BAH -
|ads|
Wes: Oh my GOD, what a match!
Rex: Boy am I glad I quit...
BBQ: I'm gonna have to join ya, BAH GAWD! WSE is DEAD! Long live ECWCWW-BAHGAWD-F~!!1
Wes: Meh... I quit too. I've had way too much of this... and I've just received word from my new boss, Jack Hoff, that Sucka T and UnderBaker have given in and decided to join as well.
Rex: Money talks! Simple as!
Wes: Well sports fans, it's been a nice two and some odd years... but the road's finally come to an end. The only men left in WSE at this point are the Chairman of the Bored, THE Mac... and his NEW "WSE NetherWorld Champion", Goo the Adventurer... pretty much by default. Wait... Goo just died on the way back to his home land of Hyperbolithica! And so, the FINAL WSE Champion... THE Mac Bry! As well as the ONLY member of WSE, it's Chairman, and the only guy who wasn't smart enough to ditch the sinking ship and join the winning team! Too bad Mac... too f'n bad!
Rex: That's cold, Wes... STONE Cold.
BBQ: BAH GAWD, ECWCWWF is gonna be a TUNA BAKER!
Wes: For Rex Winters & Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker, this is Wes Rivers saying... PEACE!
~ believe ~
*copied right 2010 - Extremely Crappy World Championship Waupner Wrestling Federation. To Insanity... and BEYOND!*
