WSE 2011 : Holiday Havoc... Tis The Season.

[THE Mac Bry v2]

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+ ~ WSE Holiday Havoc: The Christmas Special You Fucking Hate! ~ +

WORLD SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT :
Helms: IT'S FUCKING LAME!!!

WSE : Snap into the Stupidity, OHHH YEAHHH~!

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The main event for WSE Holiday Havoc on 1.2.12 has been announced as none other than sc00tie McDavis vs THE Mac Bry for THE Belt!

As if you fucking care!!!

...!

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THIS JUST IN: LEGION VERSE KRIS Y. JELLY-CO IN A TORTILLAS, LASAGNA AND CHINESE-TAKE-OUT MATCH!!!

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Tag Team Match A.D.D.-ed:
Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley [The Kings of Wrestling] vs Rose & Her Prince!!!

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TANK ABBOT IN DA HIZZY-HOWSE, BETCHEZZZ!!!

"we like trl on mtv...
...everybody 3count 1,2,3..."

A.D.D.-ed to WSE Holiday Havoc :

Tank Abbot vs "The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit", Gruel Renshaw for the WSE Extremely Tepid, Non-lethal, Softcore, Applecore 24/7 Title!!!

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And in a 4-play Tag Team Title Match, Ryan "Juggalo HellBoy" Chaos & Hopper Hopper will take on "Team Savior", Music Monkey & Zezu, God of War!!!

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After the spectatular success of WWE's "The Rock" guest hosting WrestleMania 27, THE Mac Bry, WSE Chairman of the Bored, has decided to spice up the WSE's Holiday Havoc by having his own special guest host for the event. Will it be former Chairmain Benjamin Tyrell Mason-Morgan? No. Will it be Hulk Hogan? HELL no.

Vince Russo, in the immortal words of N'Sync, had this to say ;

Russo: It's gonna be me.

So there you have it folks! Look for special guest host, the Living LEGEND himself, Vinny-Ru to shake things up a bit at WSE's big return to the eWzine Galaxy!

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Plus, special appearances by : Ozzy Osbourne, Steven Q. Urkle, Chuck Norris, Charles Nelson Riley, Zack & Cody, Miley Montana, Abbot & Costello, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Jerry Lewis, Bill Cosby, Jerry Lee Lewis, Bing O. Hall / Kevis Rash / "BarelyGood" Bulk BlowGun - THE Mac's World Order, Alvin & The Chipmunks, The Muppets, Reba McIntyre, Drew McIntyre, Harry Kerry, Harry Potter, The Cast of Family Guy with Special Christmas Song from Quagmire / Stewie & Bryan, Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, Kenny Rogers, Kenny Omega, Annette Funicello, Benjamin Halkum, David Tyrell, Spike Saunders, Scott Perry Davies...

... Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez, Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, Bill Maher's Jingle Jangles, George Carlin and the Supremes, Hannah Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Billy Bob Thorton, Larry the Cable Guy, Jerry the Satellite Gal, Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, Paula Pundstone, Rosie O'Donnell, Roseanne Barf, Keannu Reeves, Christopher Reeves, Reeve Gordon, Steve Borden, Sting, raYne, Eric Draven, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore, Bloody Mary, Jesus, That One Guy from The One Thing, Shane Horn Bryant, Shane-o-mac Bry, $hane-o-mac 3ry, Shane McBry, God, and none of the above.

World Sports Entertainment: We Suck... So You Don't Have To!!!

- 11.11.11 -
"...i'm so happy, cuz today...
...i found my friends...
...they're in my head..."

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OMG!!! : For the JUST added diva's match between Selena Gomez, Rebecca Black, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Katy Perry, and Aretha Franklin, only ONE man could be chosen to officiate the six-diva war!... Justin F'n Bieber!

Christmas just got tha FEVER... and the only cure? IS MORE COWBELL!!!

Christopher Walken could not be reached for comment.

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WSE 2011 : HolidayHavoc...4Realz.

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Live [on tape] from The Hell Hole!!!
The Middle of Nowhere, OKLAHOMA
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[The camera opens to an office... but not that of the earlier announced guest host, Vince Russo... or the Chairman of the Bored, THE Mac Bry... but that of the long lost twin brother of Benjamin Tyrell Mason-Morgan... none other than Benjamin Tyrell Ryan-sc00ter. He immediately speaks... all the while wearing a Santa hat. See, Christmas. Obviously.]

BTRS: Vince Russo was too busy ruining another wrestling company, so he made one call to yours truly, and here iAm. Tonight... the card has been changed drastically. THE Mac Bry will take on Kris Y. Jelly-Co, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, "The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit" Gruel Renshaw, Ozzy Osbourne, Steven Q. Urkle, and Santa Clause in a Christmas Gift Gauntlet Match! But first, here to sing a VERY special Christmas song, is three members of the Family Guy cast; Stewie & Brian Griffin, featuring Glenn Quagmire~!!1one!... !

...

BTRS: Hm... I've just received word that Brian, Stewie and Quagmire died on the way back to their home planet. ... In THAT case, here's WSE StupidStar, John Semen, with a VERY special Christmas RAP! Take it away, Semen!

John Semen: Yo, yo, yo, yo, YO! ... Ho, ho, ho, ho... *holds microphone up to non-existant audience*

Non-existant Audience: ... HO!

John Semen: ... Word tah ya gram-gram!

["Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" hits and John Semen skidaddles. ... Yes, skidaddles.]



[Pyro launches all around the arena setting people on fire, running around for dear life. You know, the usual, no big whoop. "Jingle Bells" by Rage Against the Machine plays on the speakers, and we send it over to Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker and Mitchell "Vintage" Kohl, Kohl drinking eggnog, and BBQ eating fruitcake smothered in barbecue sauce.]

BBQ: MMMFLGGRMGG *belch*

Kohl: VINTAGE GLUTTONY! *drinks from eggnog... before spitting it right back out* VINTAGE EGGNOG!!!

["Here comes the Money" hits, and $hane-o-mac Bry, aka THE Mac Bry, stomps down to the ring with purpose.]

Howard Fecal: Introducing first, hailing from right here in TERRIBLE Nowhere, Oklahoma... he is the Chairman of the Bored... THE Mac Bryyyyy!

[Mac steps into the ring... just as the lights cut out. A count-down appears on the Not-The-Titan-Tron... and when it hits '0', a blast of pyro rocks the stage, and "Lube Me Up" by Master Bateman & The Jizz Lites plays, as KYJ rushes down to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope, and goes RIGHT for Mac...who simply steps out of the way KYJ bounces off the ropes... right into a $HANE-O $TUNNER! 1...2...3, and KYJ is outta there! 1 down, 6 to go for THE Mac...]

["Black AND White" by Jackson Michaels hits, and MJ comes out, half of him dressed as he was back when he was actually black, and the other half dressed as he was before his death... as well as he is now afterward - pale as a ghost.]

Mitchell Kohl: It's like Batman's nemesis, Two-Face... only offensive.

BBQ: FOOOOOOD!!! *munch*

[MJ moonwalks down to the ring, rolls in... and before he can even stand up, $hane pins him.]

["Heartbreak Hotel" hits, and the King himself shimmies out, strutting his stuff and ah-shakin' his groove thang.]

[He gets pinned in less time than Wack-o Jack-o, which is realistically impossible.]

Mitchell Kohl: That's a VINTAGE hunk-ah hunk-ah poor showing from the Morbidly Obese Majesty! Time for him to head back to his Blue Suede Toilet in the sky!

["Crazy Train" hits, and Ozzy Osbourne emerges from the curtains, flanked by "The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit" Gruel Renshaw. Ozzy sends down the MMA loser, who is soundly defeated in a minute flat. Gruel is tossed over the top rope... but when THE Mac Bry looks back at the stage, Ozzy is nowhere to be seen! The "Family Matters" theme song plays over the sound system, and Steven Q. Urkle mosies on down... Mac is prepared... but from behind, Ozzy nails him with an uppercut to the nuts!]

Mitchell Kohl: VINTAGE LOWBLOW!

BBQ: MMMmm, NUTS!

[Speaking of which... "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire" by the Wu-Tang Clan strikes the speakers, and it's SANTA CLAUSE! Santa runs down the ramp as fast as his stubby little legs can carry his fat frame. Santa waddles into the ring carrying a hefty bag of toys. No... literally, a 'Hefty' brand trash bag which is filled with toys I can only presume... Ozzy and Urkle lift THE Mac up after that hellacious uppernut... and Santa SLAMS the trash bag-o-toys into $hane's face, sending him crashing back down to the canvas!]

Mitchell Kohl: VINTAGE SANTA CLAUSE!!!

BBQ:VINTAGE *BUUUUURRRPPPP!!!*

Mitchell Kohl: Hey, get yer own lines, ya NERD!

BBQ: ... THIS IS ONE HELLUVA TUNA BAKER, FOLKS!!!

Mitchell Kohl: ... Better.

[Santa empties the trash bag onto the mat...]

Mitchell Kohl: Those aren't toys at all! They're shards of broken glass!

BBQ: MMMmmmmmm... SHARDS OF BROKEN GLASS!!!

Mitchell Kohl: ...

[Urkle lays in a few stomps to Mac... before a sick smile spreads across his face.]

Steven Q. Urkle: ... Did IIIiii dooo thaaat?! *snort, snort*

[Urkle then rips Mac from off the mat, and he and Ozzy irish whip Mac into the ropes...
... and on the rebound, Santa lifts him up... and DRIVES Mac Bry into the glass with the Double A SpineBuster!!!]

[Santa goes for the pin... and picks up the one... the two... and three-NO! Mac kicked out-NO! I'm just foolin' w/ya, Mac lost. ^_^ ]

Mitchell Kohl: I can't Believe it ladies and gentlemen! THE Mac Bry actually LOST! I could've sworn he'd use his stroke to put himself over Chris Cringle...

BBQ: MMMMMMMMmmmmmm, KAYFAAAABE!

Mitchell Kohl: Well, for Good ol' Boom Boom Quaker, this is Mitchell "Vintage" Kohl saying -

[ - Suddenly, Santa, Urkle and Ozzy begin laying a huge beatdown on Mac Bry... before Ozzy & Urkle reveal themselves to be Axl VanHalen & Reeve Gordon respectively... Santa lifts up THE Mac, tosses him over the top and to the outside. "Santa" rips off his beard and hat... revealing none other than former Chairman of World Sports Entertainment, Jack Hoff. Jack grabs a microphone... staring down at the heap of Mac Bry on the outside.]

Jack Hoff: $hane...I made a deal with your appointed Guest Host of the night, Benjamin Tyrell Ryan-sc00ter... and you wanna know WHY this match was called a "Christmas Gift" gauntlet? ... It's cuz my gift to you... free of charge... is to now be on the very same list of companies you've either taken-over or destroyed... For the past decade, ever since you started in this business, you've USED men just like Axl and Reeve here... Federation after federation, company after company... You've used people to grab the gold... to claim the power... and to lay waste to the rest. Well, $hane? NO MORE... Your time has come, Mac Bry. Welcome... to the list.

Jack Hoff: Thanks to Mr. Ryan-sc00ter & myself, WSE is now OFFICIALLY dead...

JH: ... Merry Fuckin' Christmas, bitchez.

["Kill Tomorrow" by Mushroomhead strikes up, as Jack Hoff, Axl VanHalen, and Reeve Gordon celebrate the demise of World Sports Entertainment, center of the ring.]

[...outside the ring, THE Mac slowly awakens... staring up at the three men who have, after three years, driven the nail into the coffin of his creation.]

[... $hane silently murmurs to himself...]

$hane: ...this is only... the end...
... of the beginning... bPrepared...

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