"Bleacher/Report iNTERVIEW", by snOw

[THE Mac Bry v2]

Last night, WCF.com broke the story that management had brought in the cousin of 'The raYne Storm' $hane-o-mac 3ry -- 'snOw', aka Sarah Gordon. The two cousins grew up in the small town of Nowhere, OK, but Sarah headed out for Alabama early into her 20s. The two share a history... at times, a tragic history. B/R's Tad Griswold sat down with the new signee for a few words, and to answer questions concerning her relationship with raYne/Reeve, their shared past, and her upcoming debut in the New Year's Battle Royal.


BR: Sarah... do you care to be called Sarah, or 'snOw'?

Sarah: Sarah will do.

BR: Ok, Sarah, I've heard through the grapevine that you're on your way to the Wrestling Championship Federation. Do you have any plans for your run?

Sarah: Well, first of all, they got this big battle royal comin' up. Someone gets a shot at the People's title... someone gets a shot at the Internet title. Unlike a lot ah them, I WANT that Internet title shot.

BR: I've spoken with your cousin, raYne... he says you've had your sights set on that championship from the get-go. Any particular reason?

Sarah: I got my reason. And it's called honor. And I aim to restore some to that championship. Guy walkin' 'round with it... Zombie Rick Moranis, or whatever the hell he calls himself. He ain't a worthy champ. He can run off at the mouth, give a LAUNDRY LIST of reasons... don't mean a damn. He's only a 'worthy champ' cuz he ain't met up with a worthy challenger. I plan on rectifyin' that. And right quick.

BR: Speaking of raYne, the two of you have a storied history. You both grew up in the town of Nowhere, Oklahoma. Your aunt was his mother -- Beth Gordon. Her husband, Frank Gor--

Sarah: Don't you dare speak that name 'round my prescence.

BR: ... Ok. I apologize. But, given the details received on you and raYne's past, I can surely tell why you'd have reason to despise that name.

Sarah: That... "man", broke my cousin. Drove him into hell 'fore he was even old 'nuff tah understand what was goin' on. He killed his innocence. Like my aunt killed him. Rifle. Bullet right clear between his eyes. And you can bet your ASS he deserved it. I laughed at his funeral. And Reeve couldn't bring himself to attend. And I never blamed him. My aunt... she got put in prison. And that was somethin' she didn't deserve. Woman shoulda won a Nobel Prize, an AWARD for heroism. 'Stead, she's spendin' the rest of her life behind bars. Justice is dead. And theirs yer damn proof.

BR: Well, we'll stray away from that subject for now. Tell me, on the topic of raYne... after his match at ONE w/Mod Deuce, Deuce bludgeoned him with a crescent wrench. This put raYne in a hospital... Mod is in that battle royal. Do you have any plans on exacting revenge?

Sarah: I tell ya what. If that truck-drivin' nitwit gets in my way? I'll run him down so fast he'll think his Peterbilt just dug itself up outta its grave, and mowed him down for lettin' my cuz crush it like a compactor. You think I want revenge? You're damn RIGHT I want revenge. Reeve is the reason I got a job here. Hell, he's the reason I broke intah this business in the first place, after watchin' for years as a spectator. Mod made a mistake. Hannah Jo, Reeve's lil gal, she tried tah put herself in a match 'gainst the jackass. He declined. Worst damn decision of his life. Cuz now? He's gotta deal with me. Hannah's not a wrestler. She's as much a wrestler as Lilith is a wrestler, only Hannah ain't even competed in a match in her LIFE... I got history. I got cred outside this comp'ny. And Mod is gonna realize the day he decided not tah accept Hannah's challenge? Was the worst day of his life. Believe that, bitch.

BR: Speaking of Lilith. She's also in this contest... do you have any words for her?

Sarah: Lilly-pad... as raYne might say, I like the cut ah that gal's jib. She don't fuck around. She don't sugar coat shit. She knows she's a mean bitch, and she lets the whole damn world know about it. She knows she ain't a wrassler, but she knows what it takes tah get it done inside that squared circle. She's a hell cat. And every last person in that Royal, INCLUDING me, is gonna have tah keep an eye out for her. People been dissin' her, callin' her every name in the book. Over-lookin' her. When ya over look somebody? That's when they're most dangerous. And you can bet your life, that this right here, 'snOw'... this one person ain't gonna over look Lil. I treat her the same as I would Jayson Price. A worthy obstacle. But one I will overcome.

BR: Again, speaking of -- Jayson Price.

Sarah: He's a legend. I get that. I get he's traveled up and down that road, wavin' the banner of WCF. But you best believe I ain't no spring chicken. I've been to a rodeo or two. He can't talk the same talk guys like Corey Black and Jonny Fly do... talkin' 'bout how they built this house, while the rest of us ain't nothin' more than 'jobbers'. Well, I'll show him just how much of a 'jobber' I am when I toss his washed-up ass over the top rope and see him starin' back at me from the outside. Price... your day is done. And you'll realize this when you're lookin' intah my eyes... and realizin' it's people like me, people like Lilith, people like Jayden Thunder... people like US, that are the future of this comp'ny. And your its past. And buddy-boy... that's where yer gonna stay. As we pass you by.

BR: And... Jay Thunder?

Sarah: Again, I gotta lotta respect fer this ol' boy. Sure, he didn't take those tag straps at ONE. It's Odin and Cairo, it takes a helluva lot to put those two men down. They're a well-oiled machine. They know eachother like brothers. Hell, they know eachother like the back of their own hand. Jayden was thrown intah a makeshift tandem, and he came up short. But he took somethin' much more important. He took home a win. His FIRST win. His FIRST victory. Yeah, he's one for two... but that's just the beginnin'. That's where it begins. Lightnin' struck... and he put everyone on warnin'. Come Wednesday, he's gonna be another tah look out for. And I will not take him lightly. I know what he brings to the table. And in the words of Stuart Slane... I WILL be prepared.

BR: There's another note-worthy name in this battle royal. Caleb Fourchon. At ONE, he picked up the Television title in a heated contest between himself and Chelsea Black Armstrong. Do you have any words for the new T.V. Title Holder?

Sarah: I do. Caleb... you 'n' I, we got a LITTLE bit in a common. We're both Southerners. Born, raised, and damn proud of it. Yer from Louisiana, I'm from Oklahoma and spent the last few years of my life in 'Bama. Just a hop, skip and a jump away from Cajun Country. I grew up 'round Cajuns, I live around even more these days. I love me some Cajuns. They always got the best Southern Beauties, if I do say so myself. And I'll be damned if y'all ain't got the best food this side of the Mississippi River. So Caleb, I got much respect for yuz. You proved your worth at ONE, you earned that title, and I respect the hell outta ya. That don't mean I ain't gonna run you over just like I do ten other people come Wednesday Night. We may come from the same neck of the woods... we may very well end up bein' friends. But when it comes tah bein' between those four sides of ropes, in front ah the flashin' lights, with the camera rollin', and somethin' on the line? There ain't no friends. Hometowns don't mean a thing. And the only thing that matters? Is who's hand is raised at the end of the night. And I'm aimin' tah have that hand be mine. Sorry 'bout yer damn luck, Coonass.

BR: There's also a certain monster entering the fray... a self-proclaimed "it" named Oblivion.

Sarah: Obi. Hell yeah, I know that guy. I've seen him at work. I watched ONE, I saw him take down ol' Matty-boy. But newsflash Obi... I ain't Matt Robinson. I ain't none ah those names on yer lil 'list'. And I sure as hell ain't 'fraid ah ya. You wanna make me fear you? You wanna intimidate me, make me quiver in my size-fourteens? Obi... I'm sorry. But yer shit outta luck. I will step to you just like I would Stacy Robinson. Just like I would Steele Matthews. Just like I would the Serial Thrilla, Original Gangster, or that muscle-bound mountain ah stupid, Diablo. You may me a monster. You may be big. But just like the ol' cliche goes... the bigger they come? The harder they fall. And your path of destruction, your 'reign of terror'... it comes to an end. Wednesday Night. And it comes at my hands. Bank on it.

BR: Any last words for the WCF Galaxy?

Sarah: Just one--
BAM!!

BR: Alright, Sarah, thank you for your time, and best of luck come New Year's Day.

Sarah: Tad... luck's for losers. I don't need luck. I just need a ring, eleven people... and eleven cans of grade-A, all-american whoop ass. WCF... there's a Storm comin'. And this one ain't gonna be followed up by a rainbow. Believe that.






-- Tad 'The Tool' Griswold is a long time writer for Bleacher/Report, who has recently been signed on by the official WCF.com website to deliever the inside scoop. Tad still brings B/R the hard-hitting interviews that only we can offer our readers. Tad enjoys long walks on the beach, playing his ukulele beneath a blanket of stars, and his feline friend who he affectionately named 'Josh Mathews'. Tad is a Level 42 Poke'Dude Master.