Brock WhitWorth FeedBack

[THE Mac Bry v2]

Well, I know I won't be able to be here in a few hours, and probably won't be able to return for three months to a year. But you have been an amazing friend. So here ya go. Covering both this past week's, as well as the one before.


Last Week--May 13th:


First off? As I said before... frickin' love your descriptions. You know how to give detail, giving the reader an image in their head. You don't go too overboard, you keep it right on point. Perhaps even better than I, myself... And also as I said, I'm digging the character development story. I'm intrigued every single time I delve into one of your roleplays, and one of the main, core reasons for that is the interlaced CD work. And the DIALOGUE. That is, above all, my key point with any RP, or piece of writing for that matter. It's why I focus so much on it in my own work, and it's what I've mostly been complimented on. And the speaking segments in your pieces are absolutely engaging, and just like w/the detail and narrative, they give the reader a picture in their head they can latch onto. In other words, it feels real....

...and awww >< The part w/the father...I know how that feels. To not be what they want ya tah be... Like I said, you capture the realism, and the emotion. And that whole, thing, is absolutely perfect. The Crue may be gone. But trust me. If I can, I'll still be on these boards, reading the roleplays, reading the shows, and I WILL be keeping an eye on Brock's story. I'll keep myself in check, takin' care and all that, but I wouldn't miss the next chapter for nothin'....

...I honestly let out a "you're damn right" when Brock replied to his mom about following his father's wishes...*sigh* Yeah, ya nailed it.


And, on to the trash talk segment...DAMN. Dude.....I'll be totally honest right now. I WISH I would have been as focused as you are, comin' in here, delieverin' promo after promo like this, with focus. Like I said before, I see Brock in my mind, I see him looking into the camera, and I see him killin' it with every line. Carving out his place and makin' a name. I can only hope I'll be back here one day, regardless of if it's the Crue or someone else, and I want to bring that PASSION, that you bring every time you put in work. That's what you bring. That's WHY I chose you as the cWo champ. I know I let ya down, but if I ever get the chance again? I'm learning from you. And I'm runnin' with the ball I'm given.

And it's just, like... I write my feedback as I read. And ohmigawd, dude. You fuckin' killed it. Especially that line-- "You show your scars with pride and I respect that, but my scars run so deep that they cannot be seen." I hear that in my mind, and I feel it. That is what The Crue SHOULD be about. Hell, Tifa personifies it, both inner and outer, but I haven't shown that. And when Brock talks about living for the biz...The cWo is all about growing up, being fans, being passionate...it was the only thing that got them through as kids. And I read this roleplay, and I can't help but feel like, "That's Tifa. That's The Ax Man"...You inspire me to get myself in check. Come back here, some day, and kick ass. Through your writing, through your drive and determination, and through the talks we've had, you motivate me. And I'm not gonna let that motivation pass me by. Not this time.

Hell...just this one promo, it gives me this thought...I need to listen to a few people's advice. Take the scars, take the pain, and use it as fuel. Instead ah bitchin' and complainin', put that into my writing. Prove the doubters wrong, and the believers right. I wanna be like Brock. And that's not just me blowin' smoke, I literally mean that. You know I'm an emotional person, and when I say things like that, they come from the heart. So, yeah....thank you. For bein' you, and bein' a DAMNED good writer.

And OH MAN...that last line. The 'YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET". The camera crush, standin' there over the fallen lens...and then fadin' out.

Ya brought it home. I love that. ^_^

I can feel the fury and the conviction, I can hear him. And that's the key.

~ + ~

This Past Week--

I love that each of your RPs begin with a quote. It's a small thing, but I love it. Clearly, I go overboard with the lyrics, and videos, and COLORS...>< But you...you keep it focused. Every part of the piece serves a purpose. And I LOVE EL GUAPO!! XD I see that name, and instantly I know I'm gonna love that segment. I love a good cast of sub-characters. You have the map laid out. You have a cast, and each one has their own personality. And each one plays a vital role. And that's another key to not only a great roleplay, but a great roleplayer.

And just picturing Guap talkin'...I smile. ^.^ He gives this feeling-- he's a trainer, he's focused on the big picture. But you can also tell he's a legit friend, and he cares. I'mma tell ya, that's honestly how I feel every time you send me a PM. It feels like you're my coach, and I know I haven't put your advice, Joey's advice, Brian's advice, Ash or Ambz' advice into true practice. But, whether it seems like it or not, all of that is in the back of my mind. And it's slowly startin' to come to the forefront. A person needs a good motivational speaker in their life, it can take a while for the words to sink in...but when they do? It makes an impact....Never give up. Always move forward.

And again, the details, right on the money. And I'm startin' to feel one of the reasons I like Guap so much is cuz he's as hyper as I am and talks as much as I do. >< But AGAIN, the conversation...And I REALLY dig when Brock and El Guapo go back and forth. First roleplay I read of yours, that's what caught my eye. One of the reasons I focused on you. That chemistry... I dig the hell outta that.

And one section really stuck out, personally, after the phone call--

" For all of my work, I finally have something to show for it. So many feds, and I watched so many go under. And yet, here I am, in a prime position to make my mark, not only on this fed but on the whole business. Guapo is right. I have no choice now. Now, I cannot make any mistakes... No if’s, no excuses.... No matter what happens, I will stand on top of the mountain at the end of the day. Just work, one day at a time, and know it’ll all fall into place."

THAT. That's an M.O. Those are words to live by.


And talkin' about chemistry...I love the inerplay between Brock and Kara. I can feel that connection, that family bond. The playfulness, as well as the serious side, when Kara worries about being so far away from her brother....and then the part concerning their mom. I've been wanting to find out more about that. That was the other thing that really grabbed my attention when I first read a Brock Whitmore roleplay. That story is one that's gonna keep me reading the RPs here, if I'm allowed to see them. And again, tbh... I wouldn't mind seeing Kara step into a PWX ring. Given Brock's picbase... I think Natalya would make an excellent look for her.

Annnd... I know you didn't win. And I REALLY wish I would have finished the segment with time to spare, because if I could have made that thing the way I envisioned it in my head, with the coronation of Brock as the cWo champ.... again, I let you down. I'm not gonna make any excuses or mention any of the issues I have. I messed up. But I'm workin' on it, finally...

...The trash talk, in this promo, I think that's the one thing that took away from what most certainly coulda been a win. It didn't quite give me the same feeling as last week's. There were a few errors, spelling, etc. that took away from the impact of certain lines. And it didn't really have that knockout blow at the end that I've come to expect. Last week's brought that fire I associate w/Brock, but this one, it fell a bit flat. I get this feeling, that you were in a rush. Don't rush it. That's been one of my major downfalls, with everything. Do your work when you can be nothing but 100% focused, cuz if this roleplay, mainly the last segment...if it were like last week's? I'm tellin' ya. You'd be on ADR 80. World Title in the balance. And you bring that fury to a Title Match? And it is yours for the taking.

Never give up. Never surrender. Fight, adapt, overcome. Win. Never look back. Always forward. Every day, keep movin'.

I know you've got a World Title in your future. I Believe it. Keep the fire, keep the passion, keep the drive. Keep puttin' in work. And you got this. Plus...I gotta feelin' Pariah could use a man like Brock at Civil War. Just sayin'.

Thank you, for everything man. Take it easy, and take care of yourself. Cuz I know iAm.

Peace, brutha...and rawk on.

~ Shane Horn Bryant


"Why is it that a raven is like a writing desk?
I Believe, that while the raven soars...
The desk allows one's imagination to do the same."

~ Lewis Carrol, as answered by me.
But of course... it's only an opinion.